Can someone review the first episode of my story?


#1

Hey, I would love it if someone could take a look at my story. I’ve only finished 1 episode so far and the directing isn’t perfect, but I would appreciate a honest opinion on what I have written by now (even if it’s harsh).
I just want to know if it’s worth working on ! :smile:

Title: Miss Nobody

Description: You’re school’s “Miss Nobody” whose life has always been filled with sadness and ignorance.
But what happens when you start getting the attention of others?

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4935084164907008


#2

Sure, I’ll do it.


#3

Thank you!


#4

You’re welcome!


#5

There are some things that could be better in the story. Your directing is overall good, but I think you need more practice with layers, and spot directing. The characters sometimes hold animations for too long. And there is one part of the story that doesn’t make sense to me. If she was trying to catch the bus and ended up running away, how did she get home? After the bus stop scene it’s the next day. (Although that is minor.) Also trying using the “&” command. Example: (&CHARACTER starts laugh_guffaw. Also, there was a part of the story where you wrote “ring ring” I didn’t have my sound on, but if you did use a bell sound then there was no point in writing ring ring. If you don’t know how to use the sound command, the basic thing is: sound bell_ring. I think that’s all I have to say!


#6

Alright, thank you so much for help!
Will work on fixing these mistakes asap ^-^


#7

No problem!