Can y'all read my story

Can y’all read my story to see if their any mistakes and if there’s anything u dislike about the story or like anything in the story. Or something I should change in the story.

Hi, I read your story ^^^
Don’t take this the wrong way, it’s just to help you. :slight_smile:

In general:
What’s the plot?
Where are we? Period? City?
Who are they?

Episode 1:

  • character doesn’t appear on the CC template.
  • The first episode can only be CC but I prefer when the story starts from the first episode (personal opinion.)

Episode 2:

  • use @transition fade in color in time when you change scenes, it’s more fluid.
  • the name I chose for my characters didn’t work. Instead, I have Kim and Jeremiah. You have to correct that.
  • in the kitchen scene, my character is present twice.
  • make it longer.

Episode 3:

  • You put several speech bubbles for a sentence, put everything in the same speech bubble.
  • When you do NARRATOR (KIM), use animations on your characters.
    -The party scene is weird, it’s too zoomed, the characters are on top of each other, we don’t really understand what’s going on because we don’t see.
    -Be careful with your spelling mistakes.
    -And your characters appear on the art scene… it’s weird. Use NARRATOR (KIM) instead.

You need to work a lot more on your story if you really want to. Try writing your story on another platform (word, drive, paper) before you do it on episode if you prefer. But it seems like you don’t know what’s going on and you’re moving forward, which is good, but you have to know how to manage it.
I advise you to find the plot of your story before continuing…


Moved to Share Feedback since you’re looking for feedback on your story. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics, and feel to PM me if there are any questions. :wink:

Can u read my first story The Star Necklace to do a review if there is any errors

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Oh ok I will read it.

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would you like to do a review for review?

Title: Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane
Author: Marshmallow O.
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy
Style: Limelight
Summary: It’s a race against time as you and your friends try to escape the mysterious sleepover that you were invited to… Read to uncover the Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane.


I’m changing my current one, so this will be my new one soon enough! :grin:

Chapters: 4 (More to come)

Create your own characters and Choices Matter!:blush:

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