Can you read my plot of my story and tell me what you think?

No, I don’t think so. But I will have to look into it.

Hi I am seeing there some big logical gaps…maybe you have already thought about them an know how to fill them?
She is 7 and decided to “live alone for 3 years”? Um…wery unlikely that such small kid will be able to survive so long alone and been found by anybody…also this is not tipical decision for such small kid in 7 years you dot thing in that way …o god dad left, mom i dead so I will leave the house…its actually not typical even for older kid unless the kid believes for some reason police will think that the kid killed the mother…but as said this is more typical for kind in 12 and older. Such a kid is also more imaginable to be able to survive as homeless somewhere in the city or so that 7 years old.

Also at the end, you suggest that the mom is maybe not dead…in case she is not dead why would cops even arrest her for her murder? If police arrests somebody they need to have some proves…I mean what prooves can police possibly have to think 7 years old kid killed her mother?

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Hello, @Farah_DeSantis I know that there are problems with the first plot. I made that plot at 10:00 at night so it has problems. I suggest you read the second plot it is more realistic.
Here is the second plot!

Emily goes down to the kitchen and grabs a drink of water, she discovers a note on the kitchen table, it is from her Dad, it reads, “I have taken Ethan with me, I am leaving, I have had enough of this”. Emily’s hand trembles as she reads it, she quickly runs upstairs with the note still in her hand, she goes to her mother’s room but finds the door closed, she calls out to her Mum but nothing, she tries the door handle only to discover it is locked, she bangs on the door, crying for her mother. She decides to try to break the door down, with little energy she has left, she charges for the door and it busts open, as the door opens she falls to the floor and that is when she notices her mother lying on the ground, she rushes over, wincing in pain from barging the door, she gently shakes her mother and calls out her name, she puts her ear to her mouth to feel if she is breathing, there is nothing. Upon gathering her thoughts and a part of her still wanting to save her mother, she contacts the police and also rings her Aunt, because her mother said if she was ever in trouble to always ring her Aunt. An hour goes past before finally the police arrive, followed by her Aunt, the Aunt takes Emily in her arms, a police officer, standing by, saying he needs to ask some questions, Emily tells the police how she found her mother, then she shows the policeman the note from her Dad. The aunt, being her Dad’s sister, looks away, maybe with the guilt of knowing what is going on, who knows, Emily will have to ask her that later. The police start the investigation, Emily and her Aunt sit on the couch watching several people come in and out of the house, before Emily finally sees her Mother being wheeled out on a stretcher, a bag covering her body her Aunt looks at her and says, you have to come to live with me, Emily declines and says she has to stay in the house, just in case her dad and brother come back, her aunt tells her she can’t live on her own as she is too young, she tells her she will be better off with her and her cousins, Teah and Jen. She gathers her things, but before she leaves, she puts the necklace her brother gave her with a note, saying Aunty, then with her Aunt she walks out the door. Have to find somehow to make it flow from previous scenes, like maybe the aunt isn’t blood related she is called that because Emily was told to name her that, maybe she knows Emily’s mum and dad because before Ethan and Emily were born, their parents got messed up in the gang world and maybe the mum fell pregnant with Ethan so chose to leave the gang world but when you are in a gang world and decide to leave, there are always consequences, so this ‘aunt’ takes her in her home, and that is when Emily discovers what life is like for a gang, she tries to leave several times, but they convince her to stay for her own safety (rival gangs), so one of the women teaches her how to survive, i.e to shoot a gun, etc. Fast forward to when she is older and has become experienced and confident and then go on with what you said. I still don’t know clue yet, after helping you, I think the mystery is Ethan and Emily reuniting but how, I dropped a clue before with the necklace, hoping if her brother did come back he would know where she was, maybe before she blacks out she sees the necklace again, which means her brother has found her?

Yeah this make much more sence.:laughing: I would sugest to make for youself clear where the story should go and how it should end. Often people have good idea on the beginning of the story but actually dont know where the storry should go. If you know the goal… For example finding brother and leave gang its easier to keep the story on track.

I am still not sure about one thing… Leaving neclace from brother with only one word Aunt… If she is 7it kinda didnt fit and if she is older than she would leave longer note. And why to leave there the neclace anyway when it is the only memory on her brother?.. I understand you want the neglace to apear next in the storry… But how she leaves it should be more beliavable… What if she just accidently drops or forget to take ir from her room instead of intentially leaving it there?

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The brother left the note.

So Emily has a brother that was born 2 years before her that was put in a secret location. The dad left the note because she was going to raise the brother. The necklace was their mother’s, she gave the necklace to Ethan right after her and the dad put Ethan in the safe location. She told him to keep it safe. And when the dad comes back to write “Aunty” on a price of paper and wrap the necklace in the paper. Then the dad could give it to the Aunt. Then she would give the necklace to Emily when she felt it was the right time.

I think the plot is pretty good I just don’t see it fitting the contest. Since the contest is a clue starting it all, it just doesn’t make any sense to how one clue started the mystery.

What is the mystery?
And what is the clue?

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Gosh it is so good, i will wait your history!

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The mystery is if the mom is really dead. The clue that the dad seems to be very violent with anyone he dates. So Emily thinks her dad killed her mom.

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But if she felt for herself that her mother wasn’t breathing and the police were there, how would that be a mystery?

And the guidelines say that they have to find something for the clue. So her finding the note I guess?

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The mystery is who is Ethan. The clue is that Ethan gave the note to with a note saying “Aunty.”

A doctor can’t tell you you’re mute. Its something people usually do themselves based on traumatic experiences.

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Emily doesn’t even know what a mute patient is. So the doctor has to tell her.

Okay then.

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@Danielle318 I like your story but I didn’t quite understand the rival gang thing and the ending, And also how Emily finds Ethan. I would like to read it in the future though, have you decided on the title yet?

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Yea, it’s a Clue story. Clue: My parent’s murder

I really need to hurry though because I have the dialogue and stuff but I still have to do the actual scene for episode 2 and do all of 3. It is probably just going to be a regular story instead of a clue one.
So it would be my parent’s murder.

If you want you can DM and ask me questions I have a clearer description of the story.

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