Clevertimes' Review Thread


Hi guys, welcome to my review thread!

On this thread I will be giving you my honest opinion on the stories that you have created. I’ll probably read 1-3 chapters of your story. :wink:

:sparkles:REQUEST FORM::sparkles:
Story title:
Author name:
Description:
Genre:
How many chapters you want me to read:

:sparkles:WAITING LIST::sparkles:
@Aims1141
@manand61
@Angel30185
@JannahJackson
@molly247
@Marshmallow_O
@Senada
@inkkee
@B.Carlton

THANK YOU!

9 Likes

Story title: Alone Till There Was You
Author name: Bethany
Description: Summer is a single mom who believes her life is look up. But what happens when the person she thought she could trust lies to her?
Genre: Romance

1 Like

Okay great! I’ll read it as soon as I get out of school. :wink:

1 Like

Title: Save Me, Hero!
Author: Turtle Cat!
Plot/Summary: After powerless Hero moves from a town where everyone has superpowers, she gets kidnapped by a group of fugitives who are forcing her to join them. What will she do?
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy/Comedy (If that makes sense)

HERE’S THE LINK!
Please take your time! And thank you so much!

1 Like

Hi hope you’ll enjoy my story!
My story: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Author: MKG
Genre: Romantic Comedy / some Drama
Story style: Limelight
Description: Every girl has their own story. Kiara, Willow, Samantha, and Sooyoung are 4 very different and unique girls. Follow them as they grow up and discover first love, pain and what true friendship means.
4 different races, sexualities and multiple love interests for each girl.
MC* CC
Episodes: 3 so far
Link http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4612451922411520

1 Like

Hey there! Thank you! Please, could you review two episodes as I haven’t completed the third episode yet, however, you can read episode three as I have done some scenes if you’re interested.
Story title: Compulsion
Author name: Aimee.A
Description: Zyro Morte is sent on death row. He’s given the chance to extend his time after the FBI need him for a mission. Simple? One problem, he has to jeopardize his soulmates family!?
Genre: Romance, comedy, action and drama!
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6725446713540608

Thanks in advance! :hearts:

1 Like

Thank you for this! :blush:

Story title: Twisted
Author name: Empress
Description:
Was I naive… or guilty? Honest… or a liar? Maybe you can be a better judge of it than me. But listen to this story carefully. It’s quite… Twisted.
Genre: Mystery

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6469597339189248
*

1 Like

Story Title: © Tribe of Malapinchi
Author: Jannah Jackson
Genre: Fantasy/Mystery/Adventure/Thriller/Horror
Description: Toss into a land of the sun, magic, lies and dark secrets in Asia. Can you make sense of the havoc you were tossed into and save everyone before it’s too late? CharacterCustomization
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5909308359180288

1 Like

Story title: Tied Together
Author name: Molly
Description: Sydney has everything she had ever wanted but what happens when her mafia life takes it all away?
Genre: Romance

1 Like

Wow! You’re so sweet for doing this! Thank you so much! :grin::sparkling_heart:

Title: Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane
Author: Marshmallow O.
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy
Summary: Time is running out as you and your friends try to escape the mysterious sleepover that you were invited to… Read to uncover the Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane.
Chapters: 3 (More to come)
Style: Limelight

Create your own characters and Choices Matter!:blush:

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6250660385652736
Shortened Link: https://bit.ly/2FHhOMS

1 Like

Okay, first episode review!

First Chapter
Thoughts
  • Your covers look nice.

  • Where is the father of the children?

  • Who is Sara?

  • Didn’t know Quiten was a teenager.

  • Is Spencer apart of a gang?

  • I wonder how Tom and Summer became friends.

  • I like how Summer kept her cool even though Quiten was saying that stuff.

Mistakes
  • There’s no need for the c in chapter to be capitalized mid sentence.

  • “Please” shouldn’t be capitalized after the comma.

  • The a in Aunt Lisa, should be capitalized.

  • When Summer enters the scene, Quiten is behind her instead of in front.

  • I think it should say “Quiten, quit…” with a comma.

  • There should be a comma in “And for you, sir?”

  • You forgot the period in “Just great.”

  • You should remove the extra that in “That was something I could not have that happen.”

  • The children do an action, when you turn to the phone scene, maybe you should put them in a still pose. Also they aren’t centered.

  • When Lisa says “Be careful walking home, see you soon.” there is a | before the “Be”.

  • Spencer slides to Summer instead of walking to her, maybe you should slow him down a little.

  • There’s no need for “bye” to be capitalized after the comma.

  • You should move around your speech bubbles around, meaning when the narrator is talking, the speech bubble is in the center of the screen.

Suggestions
  • When the reader chooses the “Don’t skip.” button, and Bethany walks in she could say:
    Welcome!
    This is the first story I’ve ever written, and I hope you enjoy it!
    You don’t get to customize the characters, sorry.
    This story uses sound, so please turn your volume up.
    Also, leave some fanmail, I’d love to know what you guys think about my story!

  • The most exclamation points you should put is 3.

  • Summer should say:
    CRAP!!!
    I’m going to be late again!

  • Maybe instead of capitalizing the a, when Lisa says “She is A hot mess.” you should underline the a.

  • Quiten could say:
    I’d like a chicken sandwich with fries, and a Coke.

  • You should add “still” to when Quiten says “and can’t get…”

  • Summer should say:
    I have to stay late today and have been given shifts for the weekend.
    Lisa has plans and can’t babysit the kids, there’s no one to watch them.

  • Summer could say:
    I hope you enjoy it.
    If you need anything else, please let us know.

  • Quiten could say:
    Well let’s see…
    Sara doesn’t like her.
    She’s almost always late getting here.
    “rest of dialoge.”
    Also, Tom and her are friends.

  • Summer could say:
    Okay thanks.
    Be there as soon as I can.

  • Summer could say:
    Oh, okay well I best get going, bye!

  • Spencer could say:
    It isn’t safe to walk alone, this late at night, in NYC.

  • Summer could say:
    Really, it’s okay.
    I can walk, I do it all the time.

  • Summer could say:
    “…his ice cold blue eyes…”

  • The splash could be one panel wide.

  • If you need any splashes I could make you some.

Overall

Overall, it’s a pretty interesting story so far, maybe just fix those minor mistakes, and it’ll be perfect. :blush:

This is the first episode story I’ve ever reviewed, so sorry if it isn’t as detailed as you would like it. I tried my best. :v:

The phone this is fixed in other episodes I just forgot to fix it in the first in thank you for you feed back.

1 Like

Your welcome! :blush:

1 Like

Here’s my review! :grin:

First Chapter
Thoughts
  • I really liked the beginning of this chapter.

  • Where’s the mom? :astonished:

  • Why doesn’t she have powers?

  • AMAZING FIRST EPISODE!!!

Mistakes

There weren’t really that much mistakes!

  • The p in pizza was capitalized.

  • Hero says “This was gonna be great!” it should be is.

  • You forgot the period in “Let’s get this over with.”

  • When choosing outfit, one of the choices says “What I have one” instead of on.

  • Dad says “Well then, let’s go then.” I think you should remove the last then.

Suggestions

Everything was really well written, so no suggestions here. :grin:

Overall

The first chapter was amazing, I’m definitely going to continue reading this story. Very interesting and well written! :v:

1 Like

Thank you for this :slight_smile:
Story Title: Blind Date with Millionaire
Style: Limelight
Genre: Romance
Author: Senada
Published : 3 Chapters
Description:
You went on a blind date with a handsome young millionaire. What will happen when you wake up in the same bed?(Romance&Drama)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5658695975895040

1 Like

@MKiara @Aims1141 @manand61 @Angel30185 @JannahJackson @molly247 @Marshmallow_O @Senada
Okay, who needs me to read and review their story now? Also who can wait for it? This will help me get the requests in order. :blush:
UPDATE
How many chapters do you want me to read of them?

1 Like

Could you do mine please :sweat_smile:
:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
I Definitely don’t wanna rush you though!
The most important person is you and if you need time away from this thread then that’s totally fine :purple_heart:

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@Clevertimes Hey! I don’t want to rush you, so if you have a lot on your plate, you can read mine later :heart:
I would like it if you could read what I’ve published so far but if you can’t, then 3 chapters is fine :blush:

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Hey there! There’s no rush or anything, but if you could do mine that’d be great! :grin: I’m trying to revamp it, but I want to know what I need to fix! :sweat_smile: Thank you for this though! :sparkling_heart:

Could you read the first 3 episodes! :sunglasses:

Thank you so much! :kissing_heart:

1 Like

Whenever you want! Take your time! Please read two episodes!

1 Like