The small cover doesnโt really relate to the story and looks more like a drama cover than a romance
The large cover however looks amazing!
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
The description is a bit confusing and it took me a few times to re read and understand it.
Change it a bit and make it easier to say. It should be able to flow out of the readers mouth nicely.
I love how quick it jumps into it and how we get that short little paragraph of the mc.
CREATIVITY:
Thereโs not much creativity when it comes to your story. Try including overlays and using background characters to your advantage.
The music is fitting to each scene and it isnโt overused.
LENGTH:
Itโs really short, to make it longer give more dialogue to the characters, let the readers get to know more about the main and side characters personality. Donโt give to much away but give enough so the readers are interested.
GRAMMAR:
Put full stops after the characters say โHi,โ Change to: โHi.โ
Other then that I didnโt see any other errors.
DIRECTING:
Have your character standing in different places instead of up screen all the time.
Trust me itโll make a difference and do the same with the background characters!
During the LI cc make sure heโs facing the right way because he was facing left at the start then during cc he faced right. Keep him facing left! make him face that way
CHARACTERS:
There really isnโt any character personality in the LI and the other characters besides the MC, we know sheโs badass and a bit cocky. By adding more personality and dialogue with the other characters, readers will tend to find them more interesting!
I saw diversity, make sure you keep it along the rest of the story!
PLOT:
There really isnโt much of a plot that we donโt already know from the mc, but Iโm assuming the LI has a lot to do with it.
Other then that the start of your story is great!
Final Grade: 14/20
Extra note: Try making your story flow nicer by not using too much transitions and having more interesting character interaction!
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Having a story cover plays a big role in getting people to read your story!
Have a story cover that represents a comedy talk show make it look interesting and have people know itโs a comedy.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
The description is interesting and unique till you get to the โwhenโฆโ part and more to it so for example: โwhen drama startsโ or whatever your plot is going to be about.
I loved the drama at the start with the lady and her coffee!
Please add music/sound, I saw how you said you were lazy to do it, but itโs worth! It gives it that awesome vibe, like itโs a real talk show.
I had no idea who the mc is.
Too much swearing that isnโt necessary or funny.
CREATIVITY:
The hand overlay at the start was amazing! Continue to use overlays as it looks great and make the story flow nicer.
LENGTH:
It was too long for an episode with no plot.
GRAMMAR:
There wasnโt any errors I saw.
DIRECTING:
Directing was great, there wasnโt any problems
CHARACTERS:
I have no idea who the Mc is. State at the start if there is.
Great use of diversity so far
Thereโs no personality on any character that makes them, them.
PLOT:
There is no plot, unless Iโve missed it, consider making the plot obvious.
This story could potentially be amazing but with no plot at the start or anything that makes it interesting, I donโt really see it going anywhere.
Final Grade: 9/20
Extra note: This story can be amazing but please take the time to make it unique and interesting, have a plot and hook the readers in first episode.
Thank you for choosing me to review your story! If you have any questions or need more advice, donโt hesitate to PM me!
I would like To know if you, like a reader would continue reading it, if you would choose to read it if you saw it in The app, Iโm not sure About this concept.
Thank you Very much!!
Password: coolkid
The cover is beautiful! You can instantly tell itโs a fantasy story with the colours and character looks.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
I do like your description but it doesnโt flow out nice and itโs a bit repetitive at the start.
I suggest changing it to something similar like this or you can use my example!
โYouโre a warrior. Protecting the world from villians is what youโre supposed to do, but with your messed up life, can you succeed in protecting the universe or end up destroying it.โ
You can also takeaway the โYouโre a warriorโ as us readers can learn about it in the story.
The music matched the first scenes nicely!
I love how quick we got into the story.
I recommend getting the warning splash the same colour theme as your story, it would look amazing and match your story aesthetics.
Change your title to โ7 Relicsโ with a capital R instead of a lower case.
CREATIVITY:
There isnโt use of overlays at the start.
Having background characters brings life into a story, make sure you use them!
Having a unique intro can bring heaps of creativity to the story and make readers hooked from the start. (Make sure itโs not too long.)
LENGTH:
The length is great, itโs not too long or short.
GRAMMAR:
The scene where Sophia meets with Liam and they talk and then Sophie narrates.
โOur fathers have been working togetherwith each other for almost decades, Uncle Steve and Aunt Ava are like second parentsโ
Change to: "Our fathers have been working together for almost decades. Next speech bubble: โUncle Steve and Aunt Ava are like second parentsโ
A couple lines after Sophia says in a paragraph โis my favorite thingโ Change to: โitโs my favorite thingโ
The scene where Sophia comes home and she says โI can tel Dadโ Change to: โI can tell Dadโ
DIRECTING:
Great use of zooms and placing.
Cut out unnecessary scenes that donโt further along the plot.
CHARACTERS:
PLEASE donโt tell us everything about the Mc at the start, show us along the episode that she has powers, have incidents happen where she looses control and uses her powers. Itโs not interesting when she tells us everything right at the start.
Sophiaโs brother. Bring him into the story, instead of telling us, show us!
Like I said earlier have background characters!
I recommend taking away the part where the Mc says โHot pervertโ or the pervert part away. Itโs not needed and what Liam did isnโt perverted.
PLOT:
There isnโt any sign of the plot at the start but itโll start showing in episode 2 I hope.
Itโs interesting and I havenโt read a story like yours before!
Final Grade: 15/20
Thank you for choosing me to review your story! If you have any questions or need more advice, donโt hesitate to PM me!
I love your cover! The pose gives me a drama book vibe but the colours give me that romance look.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
Your description is great! It gives you a hint of the plot but it doesnโt give anything away.
Great use of music.
Love how we can cc the Mc and best friend.
CREATIVITY:
I love the use of background characters during the red carpet scene.
When introduced to the mum, the effects, camera and overlays that were used look amazing. Continue to add more things like that, it looks great and itโs eye catching.
LENGTH:
Itโs a bit long, I think you should cut out the scene where they are at the shop. I donโt get any information from there that would help me with the plot or find out more about the mc.
GRAMMAR:
Remember to put full stops at the end of the paragraphs, it looks much nicer and after what is said there is a pause to breath.
DIRECTING:
Less narration and more talking dialogue between the characters would be amazing.
CHARACTERS:
There isnโt much personality with the mc and bestfriend, there isnโt anything that makes me go โwow, sheโs really confident, I admire that about her.โ
I would suggest adding a trigger warning when the scene with the bf saying sheโs getting fat and needs to eat a salad. A lot of people are insure about their weight and that scene could potentially make them feel worse.
The Mc bestfriend is kind of controlling, thereโs no reason as to why she is but I hope thereโs a reason you can show the readers.
PLOT:
So far the story seems like a clichรฉ story. Not that thereโs a problem with that
The plot does seem interesting but I feel like I could guess how the story would go and how it would end.
Final Grade: 16/20
Thank you for choosing me to review your story! If you have any questions or need more advice, donโt hesitate to PM me!
Love your cover! Itโs simply but you can see itโs a fantasy story!
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
In love with your description! No need to change anything. However put on your description you have (points, cc, LL)
Music and sound fits well with the scenes.
CREATIVITY:
Love the use of overlays
I adore the intro to the story, it matches the aesthetic/colour to the storyโs cover!
Unlocking powers is Amazing! Maybe have readers gain points to unlock special scenes like those?!
Your story doesnโt really flow nice, find a way to move between scenes without having heaps of transitions.
LENGTH:
Great length, just remember to not have too much filler gaps that arenโt necessary.
GRAMMAR:
I didnโt see any errors
DIRECTING:
I only saw one problem, and that was when a background character overlapped another character and you couldnโt see their face.
CHARACTERS:
When you introduce us to the characters, you tell us everything about them, instead show us through the story, let us find the information while reading.
There was a lack of diversity, maybe including more would help that even out.
PLOT:
Love the plot so far ! I havenโt read a story like yours before.
Remember to have a big imagination a story like this can potentially be really unique and new!
Keep up the good work!
Final Grade: 18/20
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Thank you so much! Yeah the first few chapters are a bit off because I took like 5 months to focus on school, later in the story, my writing style changes a lot haha
make him face that way
