College Days - Review for review

Since the deadline for the College Days contest is tomorrow, I thought I would do a little review for review. Please read my story and leave your thoughts below, then fill out the form below. Here’s the form you need to fill out:

Story Title:

You must read my story and give me a review if you want a review back.

Here’s mine:
Story Title: College Days: Campus Spirit
Author: Isabella Regnier
Description: Haunted dorms. Shady girls. Players. Dakota’s freshman year of college isn’t going to be as easy as she hopes…

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Anyone? :frowning:

I will go read yours😊

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Okay! Thank you :slight_smile:

It’s really good. Actually nothing bad to say

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thank you so much!!! :smiley:

If you like you can read my story
Story Title: unexpected love story
Author: yupiiits
Description: Lisa is a regular girl who comes eye to eye with a lot of struggles. Family mystery, boys, school how will it end

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Hey, I just read your story and this is my review!
There are a few spot directing errors like the size of characters, some of them are too small but other than that it’s good!

Here’s my story! Let me know what you think :slightly_smiling_face:

Story Title: College Days: Blooming
Author: Sharon
Style: Ink
Description: Being a freshman in college means a new social life, budding romances, late nights and more. Will you be able to flourish through it all? (CC)

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I just read your story. Here’s what I think:

  • Watch out for grammatical errors! You have quite a few of them - specifically, you are forgetting to capitalize “I” very often. Also make sure you use punctuation.

  • The conversations sometimes come across as a bit rushed, and robotic at times.

  • I really like Lisa. I think you’ve made her a wonderful character, and she’s very likable.

  • Your spot directing is great!

Hi! Thanks so much. I wrote that story about two years ago actually, and wasn’t planning on publishing it - but once I saw that the latest contest was college themed, I decided to just go for it. My spot directing has improved since then! :smiley:

Here’s what I think of your story:

  • First of all, I love your splashes and cover art! They were done beautifully.

  • Your directing is ON POINT.

  • The plot - specifically in the first episode, is a bit slow paced, although I honestly don’t mind, but some people will.

  • Overall I really liked it :slight_smile:

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Thank you for the review. I know i have problems sometimes with language cuz im not english but i will try to make the movements better and everything:)

Pr, 2018. g. 26. nov. 20:15 izzxepisode rakstīja:

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Title: College Days: Behind Closed Doors
Author: JessDeBest
Genre: Drama/Mystery
Style: INK
Story Description: College is all fun and games until you discover what’s behind closed doors. Students disappear one by one, and you’re going to get to the bottom of it.
Instagram: @iwrite.stories

Title: College Days: I’ll Find You
Author: KatieB
Genre: mystery, drama
Style: LL
Hanover College has never been Melody’s choice. It’s a family tradition. Can she keep up with school, work, and friends. When a mysterious lover comes to light.

I stated in my post that you have to give me a review first - then I’ll review your story.

If you review my story, I’ll review yours. I stated this clearly in my post.

I know

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it :smile: I will work on the pacing of my story in the future. Good luck with your story :grin:

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Sorry to get off topic but when is the next contest

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I don’t think they’ve announced it yet.

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Grammar could be better. First mistake I saw was in ep 1. It should be “Today is my 18th birthday.” Sentences could be worded in a better way for the reader to understand clearly what the character is meaning/saying. Another example which I’ve corrected is: “Well… I’m not the sharpest tool in the box.” Another is: “That was the school I most expected would reject me.” 6/10


Directing is okay It could be better by making that extra effort to place the speechbubbles directly to the person talking. Also, you can make the characters feel an emotion (happy, sad) as someone is talking to show the characters are lively, and they’re not static robots stuck in their last animation position. You have done this a little bit, so keep going! Make sure each line of a char’s speech has an animation, unless it is long or a loop. It makes you as the author not lazy, I also encourage you to be more creative in your directing.

When she’s in the campus, ep 1, she meets this girl, but she’s the only one there! This is quite unrealistic so I suggest adding some background characters. Maybe you could pause for a beat or 2, and then give a little spotlight around the girl Dakota spotted. This links back to my point about being creative with directing. Again, where the girl exits, she gets bigger. Use spot directing to stop that. 6/10.


The characters are okay. It’d be better if we really got to know each main character’s personalities (not just their stories) especially Dakota, without telling us of course. Show us instead, If someone’s quiet, they may like to spend time on their own away from people. If they’re overly confident, you can make them seem condescending or"too much." 6/10

Story plot

Try showing instead of telling. Like in the first ep when Dakota’s talking about her family, show how upset her mom’s boyfriend was while narrating the story. It’s important for the readers to not get bored of constant story telling, on a white bubble. I suggest you add a few goals to the storyplot itself, so it doesn’t get boring, with a few little ones between episodes. Overall, plot is alright. 7/10.

I think your story would be much better if you refined it, polished it and went over things more. Also, I feel like some things from the story are missing, like the liveliness of the characters, ect. I encourage you to use music/sound more, this can make your story much better!

Keeping in mind of everything i’ve said here, I rate your whole story a 6/10! :slight_smile: