Grammar could be better. First mistake I saw was in ep 1. It should be “Today is my 18th birthday.” Sentences could be worded in a better way for the reader to understand clearly what the character is meaning/saying. Another example which I’ve corrected is: “Well… I’m not the sharpest tool in the box.” Another is: “That was the school I most expected would reject me.” 6/10
Directing is okay It could be better by making that extra effort to place the speechbubbles directly to the person talking. Also, you can make the characters feel an emotion (happy, sad) as someone is talking to show the characters are lively, and they’re not static robots stuck in their last animation position. You have done this a little bit, so keep going! Make sure each line of a char’s speech has an animation, unless it is long or a loop. It makes you as the author not lazy, I also encourage you to be more creative in your directing.
When she’s in the campus, ep 1, she meets this girl, but she’s the only one there! This is quite unrealistic so I suggest adding some background characters. Maybe you could pause for a beat or 2, and then give a little spotlight around the girl Dakota spotted. This links back to my point about being creative with directing. Again, where the girl exits, she gets bigger. Use spot directing to stop that. 6/10.
The characters are okay. It’d be better if we really got to know each main character’s personalities (not just their stories) especially Dakota, without telling us of course. Show us instead, If someone’s quiet, they may like to spend time on their own away from people. If they’re overly confident, you can make them seem condescending or"too much." 6/10
Try showing instead of telling. Like in the first ep when Dakota’s talking about her family, show how upset her mom’s boyfriend was while narrating the story. It’s important for the readers to not get bored of constant story telling, on a white bubble. I suggest you add a few goals to the storyplot itself, so it doesn’t get boring, with a few little ones between episodes. Overall, plot is alright. 7/10.
I think your story would be much better if you refined it, polished it and went over things more. Also, I feel like some things from the story are missing, like the liveliness of the characters, ect. I encourage you to use music/sound more, this can make your story much better!
Keeping in mind of everything i’ve said here, I rate your whole story a 6/10!