Granted but you’d get infinite Doritos and you couldn’t stop eating them until the end of time.
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
Granted! but, you can only call her once every seven years.
I wish I was a famous author.
Granted but that’s all you could ever be good at and nothing else
I wish I didn’t have school.
Granted! But you wouldn’t know anything, not even how to breath. resulting in your death.
I wish I had a pet snake.
Granted but it’ll choke you to death
I wish I had pizza
Granted, but you’ll end up gaining 500 pounds every bite.
I wish I had a huge house with a backyard and a pool.
Granted, but the house will be in the middle of the desert and you cannot ever leave the premises.
I wish I could fly.
Granted but you’ll grow deformed wings and spout feathers and your face and skin will turn into something both human and vulture like.
I wish I could speak conversational French.
Granted, but if you ever spoke to someone who wasnt french you would be eaten.
I wish I lived in Japan
Granted, but you live under the sea of Japan.
Under the sea
I wish to have naturally pink hair.
Granted: But that naturally pink hair has caused you to become a scientific experiment and scientists now keep you in a cage at the zoo.
I wish I had a photographic memory
Granted but you’ll never be able to think on your own
I wish I could get a tattoo
Granted, but it will say Blockbuster, cover your entire forehead, and be misspelled.
I wish I had time for a pedicure.
Granted! But that’d be the only thing you’d have time for. You wouldn’t even be able to sleep.
I wish I had naturally long nails, that aren’t too long and are tipped.
Granted but they’ll be deadly sharp and everything you touch will turn to shreds à la Edward Scissorhands. (BTW you don’t need tips if your nails are naturally long)
I wish I never had to sit in traffic again.
Granted but you’ll be standing in traffic instead.
I wish my English teacher wasn’t insane
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Granted! But your english teacher would be boring and just drown on and on.
@LiaMina I meant like stilleto like (I personallly have okay nails but their not long enough to do the whole stilleto thing)
I wish, I had a friend,
Granted but that’ll be the only person you’ll know or talk to
I wish I was 18 now
Granted! But you’ll be eighteen forever and everyone you love will slowly die around you (That’s just sad)
I wish, I was pretty.
Granted! But your personality will be horrible so nobody really likes you. 
I wish I could bake without burning down my kitchen!