Could anyone give me feedback on my story?

Okay so I really need feedback on my story, if anyone is interested, here is the link! And by the way, only the first episode is complete, but some of the second one is ready.

Thank you!!!

Also, if you would like me to read your story, I would absolutely do it


Heyyyy I read the first episode, i haven’t finished it yet, but I will. Your story is amazing. The direction is so perfect. I think people will really like it.

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hey just finished it. it’s really good! for your first story the directing is really good. i’ve not seen many author using moving tires for cars! the tappable menus are working really good on phone (I have an android).

what i would change in here is the duplicate. the duplicate should be the same size as the original character.

the speechbubble is too small. readers with eye problems would find it difficult to read.

Overall, I would gladly read the rest of it.


Thank you so much, that’s so kind of you!!

Thank you for reading, it means so much to me. I will fix those mistakes, thank you!!!

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I have a question, when you mean the duplicate should be the same size as the original, do you mean the duplicate is too big or too small?

she is too big

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okay thank you :slight_smile: :grin:

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