Could I have some advice please?

Hello. I’m not sure what to do here. I have a friend that I talk to a lot, but there’s more to it than that. We will go days with talking to each other constantly and having good conversations and stuff. But then they will go days without answering me, and they don’t say much and come back to the conversation a few days later. I’m really not sure on how to take this. I’m not sure if I’m just overthinking it? When we do go back to speaking, nothing seems to have changed and it’s as if we never really stopped talking. I don’t know if this is their way of wanting me to back off and not message as much? I really enjoy speaking to them, but I’m not sure if I should keep trying/bothering them if they don’t really want to speak back. Am I being silly? Do I say something to them? I know this isn’t exactly related, but I have high-functioning Autism, so I’m struggling to make out if they want to talk or not, hence why I’m making this! thank you:)

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My suggestion is, don’t overthink it.
If you’re talking through Instagram or another platform it happens to me too honestly :sweat_smile:
Sometimes I’ve got so many things to do that I forget to reply to my DMs.
Moreover, if you’re talking via episode accounts, it could be that they have their normal profile as the first account so they don’t see your notification (or vice versa)

But don’t stress over it :relaxed: if they keep talking to you as nothing happened, probably it’s because they just didn’t have time to reply and so, they just go on with the conversation :wink:

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I know what you mean, I’m in the same situation (:

I’m just going to wait and see what happens over the next few days (:

Heyyyyyyy! I understand you. We always feel that in whatever relationship it is. Maybe friendship or whichever, but it happens with someone. I had this tooo. With a friend. We used to talk and I enjoy so much while talking with them but suddenly they disappeared like, they give me a reply once in a few days. I asked them if I have done something wrong. They said nothing’s wrong. From that time, I had this deep feeling to check on them, but I’ve restrained myself. Slowly I got used to it. Now I’m good if they talk or not. But thankfully, they’re checking on me and we’re having a conversation once in a two days. But whenever we talk, we enjoy. And our friendship never changed. We are still as we are on first day. Just remember that we can’t force anyone to be with us. Just learn to be without them, whatever it is. If they care, they’ll eventually come to you. Just wait and see :blush: :heart:

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Ahh, thank you! I really appreciate your reply

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Thank you so much for replying, I’m glad that it’s normal

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Hey! I have a sneaking suspicion that Prelynn is talking about me here(:eyes:). I’m guilty on doing this, unfortunately, so I think can offer a bit of insight. I can’t promise that it’s the same reason why they do it to you, but it’s very similar to my situation.

I have problems where I don’t always have a lot of motivation to do things or talk to people. Things like drawing, writing, talking to friends can be difficult for me when they should be relaxing or fun. Sometimes I can do these things for a long time and not get bored, but then I will have to stop for a long time completely. This happens with most people I talk to. I will talk very actively for a few days and then stop talking/responding to messages for 1-2 days. It’s not like I don’t like to talk to them, or I don’t like the activity I’m doing, it’s just hard for me to want to do it at certain types or to feel motivated to keep up with it.

I love talking to people, making friends, etc, but sometimes I just don’t want to talk to anyone, not even my very best friends. It’s nothing having to do with what they said or what they did, it’s just me.

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You are overthinking it and you shouldn’t.
People probably have a lot to deal with so it gets hard for them to reply to dms.
Me personally I hardly ever reply, not because I don’t want to it’s just I’m not motivated to talk to anybody be it my best friend or sister or even mother.
People also do that to me too but I don’t feel bad because I know they are either busy, or they just feel like me most of the time.

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Hi, a lot of people have left their thoughts and advice but I’ll leave mine too, tehe. It’s understandable why you’d feel that way. A lot of us do, you’re not alone at all. You have every right to feel like that. However, it never usually means anything other than the friend is going through something, needs some space or is busy.

I tend to leave conversations and rejoin them a few days later when I feel mentally well to continue to speak to any of my friends, and it’s not something that they’ve done, it’s just me wanting to socially recharge again. And that’s probably the case with your friend as well.

It’s a hard time for everyone right now, with the virus and the lockdowns. I’m not sure what type of relationship you have with your friends in terms of closeness. Are you able to discuss openly how you feel? I’d highly suggest telling your friend how their disappearance is making you feel. Let them know that these are your worries. If you need any sort of help in how to start the conversation (I always tend to give examples, if anyone needs them) let me know.

Hopefully they respond nicely and will be aware of their actions and how they’re affecting you as their friend. That step forward to communication will really help the both of you.

If you need any help or anything like that, I’m always here and so many others :heart:

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Hey! I don’t think that it’s your fault.

Sometimes people just like to be alone or have a lot to deal with. I can’t promise if it’s the same for them but Sometimes I myself like to stop the chats and such things because I just wanna have some time with me and don’t wanna talk to others even if they are my close one’s. It has nothing to do with the others. When I put myself together, I start the conversations again. And It happens to many of us sometimes.

So, my advice is to wait until they come back to their normal self and stop overthinking.

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Thank you very much. I honestly didn’t realise that people felt this way, so I’m glad to know that they most likely just don’t feel like replying to anyone, and not just me.

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Last night we were talking for hours, so it’s honestly hard to tell if I should bring it up or not. They are a lovely person, and all of these answers have showed that it’s most likely just how they are in conversation. But, I think I’ll leave it a little and see how things get on. Thank you so much for offering to help, I’ll definitely DM you if I do say something:)