Critique/Review for Stories


#1

Hey, so I’ll be doing free reviews for anyone that wants. I’ll put a template for the stories down below, and y’all can just put your story in.

Title:
Author:
Episode Link:
Description:
Instagram: (Optional, if you want me to dm it, mine is @alwaysthebay)


#2

I have 2 stories.

Title: Projection!
Author: Karlon Artis
Episode Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6046875219918848
Description: Harry Stevens is looking for his big break in the world of musical theatre. But what will it take to get there?

Title: Publicity Problems
Author: Karlon Artis
Episode Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4689222272417792
Description: Samantha Xanders struggles with her fame after receiving unwanted publicity. Can she overcome the challenges of stardom?

Instagram: @kartis.episode


#3

From the start, I like the cover art you used for Publicity Problems. I’m also interested by your description, as it seems like something that would be hard to struggle through. It’s also nice that you credited the artist that made the cover. Your introduction reveals the character’s talent, which I do think is great. Your grammar is also pretty good, since there were only a couple grammar mistakes. You had great punctuation throughout the first episode. I like that you gave a choice about the character’s emotions from the start. That reference to your other story with Harrison Stevens made me laugh. I liked how you introduced each character so that we have an idea of where the story is going. I’m not gonna lie, I did write down the lyrics of the song because I do have a pretty bad memory, but that’s just me. I like the idea of Samantha having another singer as a mentor in the dark times. It was a bit confusing that Alice turned on Samantha so quickly after confiding that she was also accused of a similar ‘crime’. So far, I think that you have a great plot! I’m going to take a look at your other story later :hugs:


#4

Thanks for doing this, I would love a review!

Title: Gang Affiliated
Author: Annie K.
Episode Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6729805148717056
Description: Teenage girl Jupiter is suddenly forced into the gang life, followed by drama, trauma, and sexy gang leaders.


#5

Thank you for your time! My story isn’t published yet but I’d just like some preliminary feedback. Feel free to only read the first episode!

Title: Switched Royalty
Author: Robin Bennet
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6597730759081984
Summary: Thrust into the life you were suppose to live, into the middle of a revolution, and romance- can you save your nation?


#6

Wow, people have such nice cover art! Okay, so I like how you started by saying that, from the start, this story is much more than a cliche mean girls bullying a shy girl. (I also completely relate about not wanting to wear contact lenses, I just always switch to glasses, haha.) The directing is already incredible, and I always like having background on characters like you put it. The school bus overlay is nice, and I like the directing that you used for that. I also appreciate the time that you took to make the background characters, I know how much of a pain that can be. I like how she referred to Carter as ‘desperate’ instead of hot. I feel bad about Nolan abandoning her, though. I also like that she actually stood up to him instead of thinking of his actions as really ‘mysterious and alluring’. My only problem with the directing is to maybe work on the layers. If you want, I can send a screenshot where Jupiter is talking to Nolan, but is getting covered by a background character. I also liked that Jupiter was able to see through Carter’s ‘charm’. The teacher also made me laugh with her facade. I was just surprised that the detention teacher fell for Carter so easily. To be honest, if that guy was following me, I’d probably get a restraint order on him. He creeped me out. I also wished that I knew what Nolan and Jupiter were talking about in the scene with a lot of directing, since it might have furthered his character development and our understanding of him. It was nice to see that learning PEMDAS actually accounted for something. The homework game was fun since it let the hours of memorization amount to something. However, I am getting the nervous feeling that she and Carter are going to end up together. The customizing of the hair and lipstick was fun to be able to style. The grammar was great, and I didn’t notice any large mistakes in the episode. I like the cliffhanger, and I’m inclined to continue reading!


#7

Thanks so much for the review? Could you please send me a screenshot of the place where the layering error is, if you can? Thanks!


#8

No problem! I sent the screenshot in messages.


#9

The cover is nice, I like how well you integrated the title and the name into the photo. I like that it starts with some of the history, while still being able to keep it as part of the story. The amount of information given while still keeping the show realistic is great. The zooms and spots are already good, just from the first scene. The dad seems appreciative of his daughter, and the father-daughter relationship is already showing. I like that you explained what was happening as we went throughout the story. I also like how you put her thoughts and opinions into the information. There were a couple grammar mistakes, but you used your punctuation mostly correctly! (you’re vs your, a comma, forgetting a period) I think it’s sweet how Keith was trying to figure out her birthday present, as I know the struggle with finding one for my friends. I feel bad for Amanda, seeing as she’s stuck between two of her friends. There was a bit of confusion for me when Peter said “I didn’t know what I expected”, but I think that might just have been a past tense instead of present tense thing. I also like how upfront Skye is about how her class was not full of nice people. I’m not going to say what the surprise was, but I was shocked! I thought the doctor was going to say something different, but it took me completely by surprise. I love that Pamela is still so supportive of Skye. Was that why the green eyes weren’t able to be changed? Amanda reminds me of my own best friend, up to something evil but completely with good intentions. I like how even when you give us a choice to customize, you still keep the character original to your vision. The basis of the story is awesome, and you have a really strong hook! I can’t wait until your story is published!


#10

Thank you so much for your review! It truly means a lot to me! And yes I expect grammatical errors as I haven’t done final read-throughs on my episodes yet. And yes, that’s why you could change certain aspects of Skye :wink:
All in all, thank you!!!


#11


Story Title : The Art of The Deal
Author : GraceX
Style : Ink
Episodes : 14 ongoing
Genre: Action/Comedy/Slight Romance
Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4622710791208960
Description: Isobel lives a secret life but is captured by Dark Chaos, a gang with a twist. Fighting for the greater good! But have there lives crossed before?
Insta: epy.gracex

Thank you so much in advance!! xxx


#12

Title: The College Diaries
Author: A.V.
Genre: Drama (-Romance)
Style: INK
Description: Love, friends, drama; everything finally seems better.
Will you let your haunting past take control of your life? [CC], 4 Love Interests, choices matter.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4955169177206784

Thank you for your time :slight_smile:


#13

Here’s my story:
Title: Darkness
Author: Dani
Genre: Romance/Mystery
Style: Ink
Description: If you can’t get away from darkness, you learn to live with it… A vampire story!
Episodes: 5 (more to come)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5439290271858688
Instagram: daniepisodewriter
I hope you like it! :black_heart:


#15

Your cover art is modern, and I like how the title effortlessly meshes with the art. The quote at the beginning is cool, it’s sort of foreshadowing. I’m just wondering in the beginning why Isobel is using so many exclamation points and not as many actions. If she thinks everything with enthusiasm then it renders the exclamation points useless. I’m also wondering why Rob repeats the same action twice, since there are a couple of flirt animations. You could also fix a few commas, but nothing serious. The part with the zooms at the part was pretty funny. I don’t know if you did this purposefully, but when Isobel was stuck on talk_repulsed while describing herself, but it made me laugh. You also used talk_flirt for Rob about three times in a row, and I’m not sure if it’s the writer in me, but it sort of bothered me that you didn’t try any others. I also laughed at the ‘Rob charm’, it was already pretty obvious that he had a distinct lack of charm. After the date with Rob, I do wish that there was a bit more story about the date instead of her complaining about it. Either that, or maybe a smoother transition, since I was left wondering about what happened with the bottle since it just ended by fading into the next scene when he left. I wish that the enthusiasm that she showed in her texts showed a bit more in her actions. When Isobel said, “Sleep finally” in a thought bubble, the animation was talk_sheepish. Was she talking or thinking? There were just a few capitalization errors. I feel like I would be more impressed by Finlay being the person at her office if we were given a picture, or something to work with so we knew what he looked like. You also do this sometimes, but you had a character talk for one line, then put in another talking line without changing the animation. The animation only lasts for so long, and although I’m a quick reader, the animation already stopped. You also used an apostrophe in a place where it wasn’t needed when Isobel talked about the joy’s of online dating (It should be ‘joys’ since it’s a plural). Also, Finlay talks to Andrew when he’s still facing Isobel. I guess that could be because he can’t take his eyes off of her, but I’m not sure. When she was given the job, I did laugh. The story wasn’t predictable from the first episode, but I’m wondering how the plot will continue with the gang. From the first episode, I think it was really funny. I’m curious about what will happen, and I’m going to get on reading the rest of the episodes.


#16

Thank you so much for the feedback! It’s so interesting learning about your story from someone else perspective.

I’ll go back and have a look at the first chapter again. You really notice your writing style change as the story progresses and directing that is simple to me now was not at all thought about back then.

I really appreciate the time you have taken to read and write this feedback and I do hope that you continue with the story :slight_smile:

Thanks again!! xxx


#17

Hi everybody ! I’m a big fan of episode’s story.
So I decided to create my own.
I would like to have some opinions, advices ! :blush:

Title: Good Morning Stockholm !
Author: Elysium
Genre: Thriller

Description:

Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrom ?
can love save Ellie from madness ?

Check it out: https://episode.app.link/IOp5nMKltL


#18

Hi! I’d love to hear your thoughts on my story!

Title: Hearts Reunited
Author: Akasha Seavue
Episode Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5170974459297792
Description: When a shadow from the past comes back into her life, will two hearts reunite or will his secrets destroy her life?
Instagram: @episode.akasha

Thank you for doing this!


#19

Hello,

If you have time, I’d be happy to have Youri opinion :slight_smile:
Title: Fashion bye Hamilton
Author: Oce
Episode Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5714045262495744
Description: Your father is more than powerful and so what?
For a Hamilton , ferciness, money and appearances are what matter the most.
Instagram: @Episode_gameset


#20

Okay, after I post the reviews for the stories posted, I’m going to start posting the reviews on instagram, since it’s easier to get notifications on there. This is just to make it a little quicker and easier :slight_smile:


#21

what’s your instagram? I would like to follow you :blush: when I’m done editing my story hopefully I can get a review.