Description help needed! ~Miracle

So, I made this description:
After an asteroid hits Earth in 1983. Killing thousands, some were lucky enough to survive the stray asteroid. But then again, it could happen again. The only problem is that you don’t know who is alive because of the amount of rumble.

But I need help making it more gripping and fit into Episode’s length limit.

You could rearrange the order of the first sentence to attract attention, also there are a few grammatical errors (no offence). Also try including different vocab/ onomatopoeia/ periods.

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Yeah, I wrote this real fast. But can you rearrange it so it catches your attention and it has no spelling errors.

Sounds good!
I want to see what @FleurS and @jessica.epi have to say. Then I will decide. :slight_smile:

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Eg 1983. New just in - from the scattered survivors; an asteroid, has sculpted Earth.

The description you have right now is good. But maybe change it up and do this?

After an asteroid hits Earth in 1983, killing thousands. Some were lucky enough to make it out alive. The only problem is, you don’t know who.

I don’t know lol :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Amazing!
Ok, @jessica.epi, @Pollexi, and @FleurS since you guys have been amazingly helpful, I just need you guys to vote on which description I should use.

Option 1(@jessica.epi):
After an asteroid hits Earth in 1983, killing thousands. Some were lucky enough to make it out alive. The only problem is, you don’t know who.

Option 2(@Pollexi):
In 1983, an asteroid hits the earth killing thousands, and millions. Some were lucky enough to make it, but you don’t know who, and you need to figure it out before it happens again…

So, which one shall I use?

  • Option 1
  • Option 2

0 voters

I like @Pollexi 's as well, but maybe get rid of the millions part and capatalize Earth.

In 1983, an asteroid hits the Earth killing thousands. Some were lucky enough to make it out, but you don’t know who, and you need to figure it out before it happens again…

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Ok thank you! @Sydney_H or @Nick please close this thread!

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Closed: You got it @Danielle318 :yay: