Discussion closed ig?


#1

edited to close.

thank you for all of you who responded, im forever thankful for you


#3

Listen, I’ve had depression for years now about literally everything you’ve stated so I’m just gonna tell you this. Honestly, I don’t even know you but I can tell you for a fact. You ARE beautiful and perfect just the way you bloody are! All those people who look down on you, even the ones that are most close to you. Don’t listen to them because they clearly don’t recognize real beauty, which is you! “Thick” is just what social media perceives as “the most beautiful”. And it is beautiful, but you know what else it. Being yourself and standing out. So what if you’re not like everyone else? You’re just being you which is amazing! But please, don’t second guess you’re beauty. Inside and out. Friends come and go but you will eventually know your real ones. But please, I just want to let you know that at this point in your life, you feel like everything is crashing down but this definitely isn’t forever and your life will progress and get better! Just keep going strong and don’t loose hope! You’re beautiful and amazing! Don’t ever second guess yourself! :heavy_heart_exclamation::heavy_heart_exclamation:


#4

Aww thank you so much, really. this made me tear up bcuz i really need something like this to hear. Thank you for being so positive and im happy you got through it. I will get thru it <3


#5

Let me try to give you some practical advice.

First, get your family together, the ones you live with each day. Tell your parents you need to talk about a serious matter. Then tell them what you told us, that it’s not funny for you and how you suffer. Everyone knows how difficult the teen years are, especially when it comes to looks or being accepted. At this age it’s hard to just go your way and let others talk. Ask your family to back you up or at least leave you be.

Second, as there is noone you can talk to and since you need some advice on how to get over your insecurities, tell your family that you want to see a psychotherapist. This will also show them that you are serious. You do not have to be ashamed to ask for help, waiting might only cause more damage. Find a theraphist you trust and feel comfy with, do not hasitate to try several and change to the one you can trust.

Third, in your daily life, find the time to appreciate the little things, do something for you. Like have some chocolate or whatever, but try to be kind to yourself at least once a day. Music also is a healer. :notes::wink:

One question, what is with your twin, is she so different from you?

Hope this helps a bit. :sunglasses:


#7

I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Noone deserves to be treated by a family member like that.

The thing is, when you constantly hear someone who lives with you call you ugly on a daily basis, you’ll grow to believe it, whether it’s true or not. That’s human nature. I’m surprised you haven’t snapped and told your sister to shut the fuck up because she needs to. You need to have a talk with your family, a serious one, be assertive and tell them about how this all affects your mental wellbeing and how you see yourself as a person. If you think you need professional help, tell them that too. There’s nothing shameful about it, the only ones who need to feel ashamed are the people who put you in this state using their negative ways.

Self-love is the best love. Whenever you feel like you’re not enough, start telling yourself that you’re beautiful just the way you are and nothing, noone can change that.

I hope this helps. I wish you the best :slightly_smiling_face:


#8

Can we be friends lmfaoo


#9

Hi to you.

I don’t know if you’ll read this answer, but I’ll write it anyway. I’m 24 years old (yeah…I love episode sue me), and I’m a criminologist (not a investigator, those people work with victims or criminals to help them with their problem in the society). I’m also a social worker.

Why I’m saying this to you? Because I work everyday with girls like you. And believe me, I had those problem. Look, I don’t know you age, but when I was a teenager, I felt the same way as you. My mother always told me I was fat (when I literally am 5 ft 3 and 105 lbs) and that I should loose weight. Recently, I was diagnose with depression and anorexia. So, yeah, I understand you.

The fact that your sister is like this with you is NOT a normal sister’s relationship. I have two sisters, and yes, sometimes I want to rip their head off, but the NEVER insult me like this.

I don’t know if you feel more tired, lack of motivation, you don’t care about anything anymore, you’re always sad or you cry, you feel like the world is on your shoulder. Maybe you should go see a doctor because I can’t diagnose things, but it seems like depression to me. But it could be something else too.

Teen years are the worst because your body changes, which means that you’re quietly becoming a woman (WHICH IS F*CKING NORMAL BTW). I don’t know how you look, but the fact that your sister is telling you you are ugly surely don’t help.

My mom and dad always told me I was a drama queen because I was always feeling like shit when I was a teenager. Recently, I learn to talk with the « I » (ex: « I feel like this when this is happening ») and I had to tell this ONCE to my dad, and he never called me a drama queen again.

I want to say that 97% of women don’t like their body or a part of it. So, girl, you are not alone. Those girls in your school might look like they have a lot of confidence, but honestly, most of them don’t. Everybody hates something about their body (and believe me, I am a example LOL), but you have to learn to love yourself.

Difference is BEAUTIFUL. When people told me this at first, I though: « yeah yeah, sht the fck up», but then I realised it’s true. I HATE my thigh, but I’ve learn to live with it. I was always comparing myself with other girls in school, till I realised they are not better than me. They are not as confident as they seemed to be.

The fact that your mom doesn’t act when your sister tell you those kind of stuff is horrible, yes, but she might not know what to do in those kind of situation.

We give a LOT of attention to material, but people around us normally don’t give a sh*t about it. If the boy in your bus care about your house or the way you are getting dress, he’s honestly NOT worth it. And he talks to you in the bus, girl he probably don’t care about your house. And it’s not because he’s talking to other girls that he doesn’t see you as the most beautiful girl in the school. You are not in his head, you do some presupposition about his image of you, but you don’t know it. If he wouldn’t care about you, he wouldn’t waste his time talking with you. You are worth it.

About your friend, it really remind me of my best friend in school. She was EXACTLY like your friend. She was mean, she start rumours about me and I was never good enough for her. She even kiss my boyfriend in my back and she used me for lying to her parents and stuff like this. I realised I wasn’t a toy and I wasn’t happy with that friend, so I stopped talking to her. Today, I’m so much happy without her. My best friend (not the same than the other LOL) is listening to me and care about my feeling. A relationship needs to be both way, not one way.
I discovered after (because she texted me one year later) that she was jealous of me. I don’t know how your friend is with you, but jealousy makes us do horrible things. Or maybe she’s just toxic. If you still want to be her friend, girl so be it :slight_smile: but maybe you could tell her how you feel (talk with the first person, the « I », she will listen to you more if she don’t feel like you are attacking her by using the « you »). BTW same apply to your sister.

Talk to your mom, tell her how you feel. You are not vulnerable, saying how you feel is, on the contrary, a very mature and unique way to express yourself. Your feelings are there for a reason, don’t hide them.

I don’t know where you live, but there are certainly some ressources that could help you with confidence and the way you see your body. Also, your twin sister might help you a lot with this. Do you have somebody in your school (psychologist? social worker? counsellor? ) that could help ?

Smiling BTW will help you feel better. Did you ever saw somebody cry and smile in the same time? I know it will sound stupid, but I did it myself and it helps me SO DAMN MUCH. Here’s some tools:

  • Write 50 (AND I INSIST ON THE 50) things that you find beautiful in yourself. Be honest. Don’t tell me theres nothing, it’s impossible. It could be qualities or physical. (I have already one for you: you have a lot of patience and self control).

  • Take some post-it and wrote thing like: I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I am worth it, and stick it where you could see it everyday (if you don’t want your sister to know about it, it could be in and agenda maybe, or in your wardrobe for exemple), but you have to see it everyday.

  • Do some sport. You stopped sport, but it proven that sport help love our body because we use it to do sport. It help with self-esteem. If you don’t want to do sports team, get out and run. Personally, it’s my medicine. I run and it help love my thigh.

I hope it helps.

And just so you know: I care about you, else I wouldn’t have responded to you.

(Sorry for my english, I’m come from Quebec, which means I’m french :wink: )

And also, remember : My best friend is the one who brings the best in me.
When everything seems to go against you, remember that plane always take off against the wind.


#10

I think we all feel that we want to fit into this imaginary box that society puts us into. People who aren’t put into that box are called ugly, or different, but, here’s the thing, we’re all beautiful, but in different ways. Or we’re all ugly, in different ways. Don’t try to fit into a certain standard, you’re perfect, just the way you are.


#11

Thank you for responding :heart: . I would tell my parents these things but they’re not serious like that. They’ll think I’m somehow being over dramatic or trying to be funny. When I try to talk to her about serious things she just looks at me smiling like that “psh, get over it” like it’s not a big deal. It’s because she doesn’t think I’m serious and if I were to tell her I want to see a therapist or something she’ll say something like “just because your sister calls you ugly?” Like she doesn’t understand. It’s not that she’s a bad mom or anything she just doesn’t believe me, who acts careless when they call me these things, that i’m serious. My family is a family where all we do is make jokes about each other and stuff like everyday but not so severe like what they say about me, which is mostly my sister. But they like to point out my flaws the most more than anyone. I would’ve went to them and let them know how I feel a long time ago if I knew they were actually serious about this stuff. I feel like in order for my mom to know I’m serious about this stuff is for her to catch me crying, then she’ll realize. I know my dad is off limits because he’s barley even home. I’ll still try it out though with my mom. I love music, it is a healer 100%. I listen to xxxtentacion but of course, sadly, he got murdered so he wont be releasing anymore music. His last album was posted yesterday so I’ve been listening to it non stop. :broken_heart: Also, no my twin isn’t really any different. I mean I think she’s prettier because that’s just how I feel with everyone when it comes to me lol. I’m a little skinnier but not by much. I weigh like 103 or 106 maybe from the last time i checked and she weighs only about like 110. also we’re not identical. And I want to thank you again for caring and helping me I appreciate it.


#12

Aww thank you, really :heart::heart::heart:


#13

Did you talk with your twin about this? Maybe she feels the same?
You should try to have a serious talk with your family nevertheless. If it does not work out, at least you tried. Then you should definitely get help from a therapist to support you and have your back. It’s your life, health and future, it’s not selfish to care for yourself. :sunglasses:


#14

I knda have depressiom too half a year ago, but not really because of how I look, because no one ever noticed me. Like I don’t even exist. Also another thing that made me depressed is that the world hates me.
Then this new girl came along and we are first friends(because she hangs out with my best friend) but then now she backstab me and basically talk sht about me everywhere. And the thing is that people actually believe her and everyone just thinks I’m a mean person and hate me when I didn’t do anything. I feel unwanted. Like no one likes me apart from my best friend, who somehow still hangs out with the girl even though she knows clearly what the girl is doing to me. But I don’t have anyone to talk to because I’m kinda an anti-social person plus everyone already hates me. I tried talking to my parents but obviously they only said just ignore her, bla bla bla whatever. So I start thinking about runing away and suicide. Life at that time had been hell for me and I feel like I’ve lost hope.
I still kind of feel depressed now but it had been better over time. I got use to her calling me b
*** and stuff. I also spend time on forum to stop me from thinking I’m unworthy and that the world hates me.
Extra details: we’re only 13. It’s amazing how mean people are at a young age
I don’t have any good advice for you but just to let you know you’re not alone. Some of us also feel the same.
Hopefully life can get better for you.


#15

Thank you so much for responding , i really appreciate it. :heart:

And yes, I have told her to shut the fuck up many times and attempted to do the same shit back to her but when I do, I just feel so bad. Like I know I shouldn’t feel bad but I’m not the type of person to say that stuff and when I do I regret it. idk it’s complicated lol

Also if you read the previous reply i described how I’d rather not talk to my parents I dont really feel like typing it again haha


#16

LMao Yes.


#17

Wow. Thank you so much. Sorry for not responding earlier, I was kind of busy but, really thank you. I’ll look back on this everyday or when I’m feeling horrible. This really is helpful and thank you for the advice. It’s so good knowing I’m not alone and just knowing that I can relate to someone because none of my “friends” go through this. And yes I do feel like i’m tired and i have no motivation for anything and all that. I was actually thinking about joining basketball again this year but I found out my school livestreams the games and posts it on their website for people who want to watch it at home, and of course, my insecure ass self doesn’t want to be on no livestream lmao. There are some days where I’m not so negative and I actually was avoiding saying/believing all these things that they say about me and it felt good. But then the negativity just slowly finds its way back and I lose that self love and self confidence. I’ll be thinking of this though and all these replies are really helping. I’m gonna start by not caring about what people think anymore. Thank you for spending your time supporting me. All I can say is i’m so grateful and i appreciate it SOO MUCH. :heart:


#18

Not really, i mean me and my twin are really close but I just keep these things to myself because I feel embarrased, even to tell her how I feel. I think she knows how I feel deep inside, and I know she feels the same way too because I know she’s insecure but she’s not extremely insecure like me. We joke around about our insecurities and stuff and sometimes it makes me feel better but then she’ll point out my flaws sometimes as if its a joke but theyre not as mean as my other sister’s words and I know she doesn’t say it to hurt me, she just wants to joke around but it still kind of gets to me. I know she’s insecure about some things herself but i can tell she doesn’t want to tell me either and I get that. Also, that is true. I might try to talk to my mom tomorrow if she’s in a good mood.


#19

Well, you are twins, so maybe just ask her to join the conversation with your Mum? Given this chance, she might also want to open up.


#20

Aww no! I have those thoughts too but I’ll tell you right now not to think of suicide. I know how you feel, I’m so anti-social too I actually sit alone in all my classes besides like 2 or 3 because thats when my twin sister is in my class. I don’t exist in school either, barley. Last week I wore the same outfit for like 3 days because I couldn’t get laundry done (cuz we dont have a washer/dryer -_-) and no one noticed lmaoo. I know it’s gross but thats how non existent i am in school and honestly id rather keep it that way. The people in school might hate you bcuz of those dumb rumors, but that isn’t the whole world. Your family loves you and I think that’s all that matters. When you get older you’ll find new people and you’re gonna go thru those kinds of dumb things because that’s highschool for you, (or middleschool) I go through it too, I’m in 9th grade but I don’t really care about the drama too much because I know at the end of the day all those people in my school aren’t really worth it. We can get thru this together & thank you for responding :heart:


#21

Truee omg. I never thought of that. THANK U SO MUCH


#22

You are welcome. :sunglasses: