Discussion: Do Y'all Think People Not Finding Others Outside Their Race Attractive is Racist?

Mmm it can be racist. Then again, they say who you are raised around dictates what type you find attractive… but then again if that was the case, very few mixed race people would exist tbh.

In a way I think it is racist because every race can have every phenotype. Like if I say I don’t want to be with white or Asian men because they have small lips, that would be kind of dumb because it’s not like there aren’t any Asian or white men out there with full lips.

Or saying I won’t date a white or Hispanic girl because most of them don’t have big butts or whatever.

Every race of every people have any characteristic. You may not find a certain person of a race attractive on average, but realise you cannot generalize any race nowadays given how mixed everything is.

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Where did I ever say it was just biology though? I agree with @SenchaStories. It’s a mix of different factors. I said so, too. Blaming it on just learnt behaviours, as you’ve done, is equally as ignorant as blaming it solely on biology.


This is not the same thing. Redicuo ad Absurdum. If someone isn’t attracted to the same sex, it doesn’t mean that they hate them. There are many underlying things that determine attraction. Placing all of your stakes on one does nothing.

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As there are many reasons, there are many things that determine who you are attracted to. Biology is just one of hundreds of determining factors. Also, being similar does not always mean being of the same race. As I’ve said quite a few times now, there can be factors for attraction that rule out other races for completely non-race based reasons, like the fact that very few black people have blue eyes. You could be subconsciously looking for similar in a number of different ways. Race is just one of hundreds.

I also mentioned different, too. Striking the right balance between similar and different.

I have agreed that some of it is societal, but that doesn’t make it our fault and it doesn’t mean it’s something we can change so easily. It also doesn’t mean we are limiting ourselves.

I am mixed myself and I am aware that mixed people exist.


We can’t really control who or what we are attracted to. As long you are not hateful towards certain races, then it’s not racist right? I’m east asian but I find myself to be sexually attracted to almost all races except whites and my own race :confused: Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against my own race and white people. I believe it depends the environment and what I went through. Like where I live, there’s not many people in the same race as me. Keep in mind I’m living in the western world so I dealt with the whole whitewashed Asian phase. I used to have a strong attraction to whites during the phase. After I got out of that phase, I lost attraction for them. So from my experience, I believe the environment and certain situations can influence your interests and desires. Even though it’s 2019, I think being racist in a hateful way is not as common nowadays. Correct me if I’m wrong. But it’s possible to be racist in a lenient way :thinking: Racism is still everywhere :woman_shrugging:t2: We still have a long way to go.

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My “you” was generalized. I should’ve written, “someone saying they don’t find”. My bad, lesson learned.

Not being attracted to a race (I don’t mean features of some members in a race. I mean the race itself as a whole because not all members of a race share every feature. For example, not all black people have 4C type curls), is learned. It’s not biological, which is why I compared to a person saying they hate black people. Both hating a race and not preferring a race is learned (i.e. race as a whole and not some members with certain features.).

On the topic of race which is what my original comment had to do with before this rabbit whole formed:

Not being attracted to a race, not features of some members of a race, is learned. It’s not innate. Sexuality and feature based attraction is not what my original comment was about. My attraction comment had to do with race, since race is in the title of the discussion.

Like certain features and sexes/genders is not what I was getting at because not all members of a race share the seem features. Not all black people are dark skin. So if someone says they’re not attracted to dark skin, as offensive and hurtful as that is, it’s not writing off/excluding an entire race. In fact, many races have dark skin people.

My original comment had to do with people who say they’re not attracted to a race rather than features of some members in a race. Cause to say I’m not attracted to people with big noses doesn’t exclude an entire race, it just excludes some members of that race. Saying I’m not attracted to black people, excludes that entire race.

Yes, you do miss out on what dating that race could offer. And by miss out I mean you don’t get what you could get, even if it’s not what you were looking for since every race has something different to offer.

Not eating things with B12 in it makes me miss out on the benefits of B12. I may not like things with B12 nor care for it has to offer, but that still doesn’t mean I’m not missing out on the benefits of B12. Missing out being, losing an opportunity to enjoy or get an advantage from something.

miss out (dictionary.com)


(tr, adverb) to leave out; overlook

( intr, adverb often foll by on) to fail to experience
by leaving early you missed out on the celebrations


You keep bringing up features that don’t apply to an entire race. My comment has to do with people who say I don’t date [insert race] people and their reason has nothing to do with features, but just the fact that the other persons’ racial background is that race.

To my knowledge, there isn’t one feature, on it’s own, that excludes an entire race. Not all caucasian people have blue eyes and blonde hair. Not all of them have pale skin. Some are naturally tan. Not all black people have dark skin. Not all black people have brown eyes. Not all asians have monolids. Do some? Yes, but not all. Is it rare, yes, but to say I don’t date people with monolids doesn’t write off every asian person.

Attraction based on race is that “some”. I agree, it’s not something that can easily be changed because anything that has been embedded in us for a long time, takes a long time to be uprooted or changed. I think racial preference is one of those things people should look inside and figure out why they don’t find an entire race, as a whole (not features that match some members of that race), attractive.

A persons preference, which is a part of them, is putting a limit on the possibilities and opportunities that could be achieved/gained outside of their preference. Do they have to concede to dating outside of their preference? No. Do you boo and miss out on what you don’t want.

I feel like we’re both repeating ourselves with different word choices, so let’s agree to disagree.

I believe they’re missing out and you don’t.

Thank you for the discussion. It was truly enjoyed. You’re very educated and great with your words.

  1. I never argued that you weren’t missing out. I said you weren’t limiting yourself – a reflexive verb. People who are unable to do something are, obviously, missing out on the thing they are unable to do, whether they chose to miss out or not. You changed the term and then claim I said something I did not.

  2. I’ve been speaking about features all along. In fact, so has the OP.

  3. I never said an entire race. I said the majority.

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I believe in trying new things and letting your hair down in a sense that will make you happy. Does it matter if a person is of a different race in order for a person not to be attracted to that person? Nope! It wouldn’t make sense! This why I think that stereotypes are so crazy and dangerous because it has control over peoples’ minds. A person doesn’t have to necessarily be attracted to someone within their race. If that was the case, I don’t think it’ll be fair because now it’ll seem like a person is forced to be with someone of a different race. I don’t think that’s cool. I try to take race out of every situation if possible because it doesn’t mean anything if everybody was created the same with distinct features, personalities structures and more. I don’t find it racist if a person doesn’t find another race of people attractive. However, I do think that stereotypes play a part in it.

This is just how I feel. No harm :100:

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i’ve found myself attracted to many different people, i definitely don’t have a type lol and idk if that makes me seem ‘easy’, i just don’t have a type :woman_shrugging:

i’ve been attracted to asians before, for example Ross Butler is asian and i think he is GORGEOUS

i am attracted to african american men, hispanic men, white men, idrc as long as i like their personalities.

i think every race has something beautiful about their typical, natural features but it’s personalities that i look out for. once i like someone’s personality, i find them 10x more attractive physically


I feel like I need to address this :
" I don’t date Black girls because they are loud or i hate White Girls cause they don’t know how to cook or I’d never date a Asian guy because he’ll be smarter than me "
Stereotype shouldn’t affect whether or not you are attracted to this person.Something said about a a certain group of people doesn’t apply to everyone who is of that race.


I don’t have a preference.If I am attracted to you and we get along well your race, features or ethic background doesn’t matter.


is that Candice Patton…?

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I love her so much. She’s so beautiful. 10/10 would smash lol

I don’t think it is racist, you like who you like and are attracted to who you are attracted to. The only way which I could she this getting racist is if you say something along the lines of “I won’t date a (insert race) person because they’re all bad/evil/criminals”. But other than that, it’s fine to have preferences.


Couldn’t agree more


I don’t date white people so :woman_shrugging:t4:


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