Discussion: Jealous toxic love interests

So I been thinking about making post, I would love for you guys to share your thoughts on this.

This is also my opinion on this, you are free to disagree with me. You do not have to agree with me.

1. Are you tired of seeing love interests that are very jealous, possessive/overprotective and controlling?

2. Do you think the amount of toxic behavior the love interest displays is healthy?

3. Do you think it would be better if the love interests would have jealous and possessive/protective in small amount/moderation?(basically in a healthy way)

4. Do you think it’s ok for the love interest to constantly display his jealous when his in a relationship, single, etc and the mc is single but mc has no right ever?

5. Why do you think episode authors write toxic/problematic love interests?

So my opinions

1. Are you tired of seeing love interests that are very jealous, possessive/overprotective and controlling?
Yes, I’m tired of seeing very toxic love interest constantly be very jealous, overly possessive/protective and controlling.

2. Do you think the amount of toxic behavior the love interest displays is healthy?
Nope. It’s too toxic, the amount the li display is very unhealthy and can lead to even more toxic situations.

3. Do you think it would be better if the love interests would have jealous and possessive/protective in small amount/moderation?(basically in a healthy way)
Yes.

Any type of these behaviors over moderation or involves controlling is a red flag tho.

4. Do you think it’s ok for the love interest to constantly display his jealous when his in a relationship, single, etc and the mc is single but mc has no right ever?
Nope, because jealous can happen to anyone, jealous is not exclusively only a man emotion.

But the way their written in episode stories is very toxic and sexist.

It’s alway the li getting mad about the mc is just talking to another guy while his hooking up with someone but when the roles are reversed the mc isn’t hooking up but the li is, she has no right to feel jealous but he can even tho she’s single.

It’s also alway the mc having having no right to feeling anything but the li is free to feel jealous whenever (even when his in a relationship) when mc is single.

5. Why do you think episode authors write toxic/problematic love interests?
I feel like most authors on episode have internalized misogyny and makes their stories trending.

So yeah, let me know what you think?

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I’m just gonna bookmark this here… because I want to give the topic of discussion the proper attention that it’s due… Excellent topic btw… I shall return later to answer this… I am about to drift off to sleep :sleeping: soon and I know it!!!

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1. Are you tired of seeing love interests that are very jealous, possessive/overprotective and controlling?
Yes, I’m tired. Not to mention it’s very bad promoting these type of relationships on this app cause in real life, many of these relationships actually turn abusive.
2. Do you think the amount of toxic behavior the love interest displays is healthy?
I think only a certain amount is necessary. You won’t have a relatable relationship if there wasn’t a toxic behavior to it. It all about awareness and trying to change the toxic behavior that makes it healthy. Otherwise no.
3. Do you think it would be better if the love interests would have jealous and possessive/protective in small amount/moderation?(basically in a healthy way)
Yes.
4. Do you think it’s ok for the love interest to constantly display his jealous when his in a relationship, single, etc and the mc is single but mc has no right ever?
No that’s just actually really controlling and sexist not to allow the mc to be jealous of the questionable things the li does, while the love interest which is most likely a male could do anything he wants whether right or wrong and still be able to get jealous.
5. Why do you think episode authors write toxic/problematic love interests?
Because people like it. If it wasn’t marketable enough they would stop writing those types of love interests. People indulge on reading mafia stories with controlling, nonsensical love interests or the stories with a bad boy that could not give a damn about the mc until she gets hot or when she does something to make him jealous. Yes, there is alot of internalized misogyny on the episode, but people write these toxic/ problematic love interests because they know it could make their story trend.

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Here are my opinions

  1. I am so tired of it I just don’t feel like reading ahead whenever there is too much jealousy and overprotection stuffed in the love interest. It just makes me lose my temper.
  2. It depends, if it is more amount then it is not healthy but if it is in control or in less amount then it is healthy.
  3. Yeah that would be much better otherwise I have to stop reading the story. (I even threw my mobile in anger due to high toxicity in the love interest).
  4. That is not good I will call it a complete cliche it is so annoying ugh :expressionless:.
  5. Because most of the readers love it and authors get more reads due to that. It sells quickly.
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1. Are you tired of seeing love interests that are very jealous, possessive/overprotective and controlling?

Yes. If it’s protective over some things then it’s fine, like I do understand that everyone is jealous at some point but too much jealousy and over protectiveness is not healthy, and the LI accusing the MC of cheating or something just means they don’t trust them.

2. Do you think the amount of toxic behavior the love interest displays is healthy?
Not at all. The app is rated 13+ and let’s be honest, we all know there’s 10-12 years olds using the app too. It sets an example on them too and because the LI is like a MC it shows what they’re doing is normal or not a big deal which is NOT. OKAY.

3. Do you think it would be better if the love interests would have jealous and possessive/protective in small amount/moderation?(basically in a healthy way)
Yup.

4. Do you think it’s ok for the love interest to constantly display his jealous when his in a relationship, single, etc and the mc is single but mc has no right ever?
Nope, I’d prefer if the LI can give his opinion but not be controlling and just tell the MC how he feels about the situation.
5. Why do you think episode authors write toxic/problematic love interests?
To be honest, I don’t know. Some write it to show how some people/relationships are, which is a good thing but they don’t potray it nicely and basically romanticize it instead of showing that the relationship is toxic whereas other just do it for reads.

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Hey Cherry_3,

Thank you for this thread!! I am an author and a reader…
So, I will answer the questions for both sides… :wink:

1. Are you tired of seeing love interests that are very jealous, possessive/overprotective and controlling?
As a reader :point_right: Yes, I am!! (I don’t understand the people who should say ‘I am not’. :woozy_face:)
As an author :point_right: Yes I am!! I understand that you wanna read about drama and emotions, but like a lot above me said it right, there are also 13 years old kids reading episode. I try to avoid toxic relationships in my stories… :smirk:

2. Do you think the amount of toxic behavior the love interest displays is healthy?
As a reader and author :point_right: Nope… It’s not. (I slap the ones virtual who think it is…)

3. Do you think it would be better if the love interests would have jealous and possessive/protective in small amount/moderation?(basically in a healthy way)
As a reader and author :point_right: I rather see LI’s without jealous or possessive sides… You have other emotions to show affection to the MC. :wink: (For example: being awkward around each other… :point_right: I have that a lot in my story ‘For HIS Sake.’ :wink: )

4. Do you think it’s ok for the love interest to constantly display his jealous when his in a relationship, single, etc and the mc is single but mc has no right ever?
As a reader and author :point_right: No of course not. We all have rights… MC and LI’s… Even the bad guys or girls in my stories all have an own story…

5. Why do you think episode authors write toxic/problematic love interests?
As a reader :point_right: I am actually so sick about this kind of stories right now… That I stop reading when the toxicity starts… And that is a bummer. :expressionless:
As an author :point_right: Because readers like to read about this kind of relationships… But as I said before… It’s not easy… Every character has his/her own story… And some of them are definitely not easy to read about.

Love A-W

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1. Are you tired of seeing love interests that are very jealous, possessive/overprotective and controlling?

Yes.

2. Do you think the amount of toxic behavior the love interest displays is healthy?

Only a certain amount is necessary.

3. Do you think it would be better if the love interests would have jealous and possessive/protective in small amount/moderation?(basically in a healthy way)

Yep.

4. Do you think it’s ok for the love interest to constantly display his jealous when his in a relationship, single, etc and the mc is single but mc has no right ever?

Nope, that would be ridiculous and the LI has no right to do that. It’s the MC’s right to date anyone, to hang out with anyone, and to do whatever the heck they want.

5. Why do you think episode authors write toxic/problematic love interests?

So, I’m in a relationship and I think I can give my opinion on this-

Some of them (which I assume that they never been in a relationship before) may have misinterpreted jealously in relationships, though that constant jealously in a relationship is common and they consider it haWt (and ended up wrongly portraying and romanticize them). It’s really annoying and ridiculous to see it, and it’s low-key promoting the fact that being a sexist and being possessive/being controlled in a relationship is normal, which is really not.

And for some reason, the readers (especially young ones) love them. :woman_shrugging:

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There could be many reasons for this. Short answer: I blame society.

A certain YA novel with a controlling love interest was very popular, and it generated hundreds of imitators, including an even more controlling love interest in a fanfic turned published novel. Just because it’s popular (for a time) does not mean it’s good, or appropriate, or an example of an acceptable relationship.

In the past, sexual repression in society meant that women’s fantasies included a lot of rape, (“Oh I didn’t want to but he seduced/coerced/forced me to,” absolving them of the associated guilt.) and this carried over to the romance novels of the day.
This trend continued long past when it was -in theory - generally acceptable for a woman to actually like/enjoy/want to have sex, although this stigma persists today in a lot of areas, your mileage may vary.) Until women feel free to express their sexuality in a healthy way, without slut-shaming (which continues today, especially online), unfortunately this trope will continue. It shouldn’t but it will.

That is most likely the root of this controlling, jealous love interest trope. Girls are encouraged to be “good” (and punished publicly if they’re not), so this sort of partner, the “bad boy” and associated dangers, is popular because it’s an escape from the confines of societal norms and expectations. (“He made me.”)

If we treated/taught girls and boys the same way, rather than allowing/excusing all kinds of bad “boys will be boys” behaviour which absolves them from responsibility, and putting the emphasis on the girls’ “good behaviour” and so on, then this double standard, and repression couldn’t continue and this trope would die out.

For an interesting read, look to Nancy Friday’s books of women’s sexual fantasies “My Secret Garden” published in the early 1970s and “Women on Top” published in the 1990s. In the 70s, still early in the sexual revolution, there’s not a lot of consent going on, whereas later, women are much more in control in their fantasy scenarios, taking the lead, being in charge.

But obviously, we have a long way to go.

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These are all important topics, I think that if there is content which is against having a healthy relationship then the writer should use this opportunity to call these out and tell people how a healthy relationship should be maintained

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Possessive “love interests” are a) the absolute worst and b) the reason why I ignore most romance stories.

heres my opinion yes it get tiring its like they make the boy love interests jealous or they make the boy LI cheat like cant they write about a nice LI who actually cares about feelings and overall a nice guy some episode creators make it seem that all boy are bad not really a good example

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My answers:

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Seeing the protagonist continue to try in the relationship literally displays even more of a toxic trauma bond and i can’t tell when it’s for awareness or corny mafia stuff

I just recently dnf’d a book over a toxic love interest bc of this. I think its okay and normal to be jealous sometimes, and id even go as far to say that percieving jealousy as inherently bad is toxic too. However, a lot of love interests use it to drive their actions and control the main protagonist. Its not at all attractive to me.

And some authors take it too far to the point where it essentially crosses the line into mental/emotional abuse as well. :face_with_spiral_eyes:

However, I think people are into overly jealous love interests because it’s validating to be so wanted and desired by someone that it leaves that sort of impact on them. If that makes sense. In my experience, however, toxic people like that dont act that way because they like/love you. Its because they want a sense of power and control over you because of their own insecurities.

Again, jealousy in itself isnt a bad thing though. And i see ppl get demonized too much over a normal biological reaction. Its the action thats tied to the emotion that matters.

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