Discussion on when People “Backstab” You

Hey guys, so the Episode community is awesome but there’s a few people who are sour in it (it’s the truth, I’m not going to name them) and I’ve had people who betrayed me, used me, and it deeply hurt me. Sometimes, I’m scared when I’m trying to find support but I can’t let those experiences affect me. I’m glad to know that from the many I’ve met, there were a few good people who have been nothing but kind to me. I appreciate them so much and have nothing but good things to say about them. It feels awesome when you meet the right people. Honestly, I thought the world of writing was supposed to be fun, but it seems more on the competition side with some people trying to tear down other authors brutally. So my question is how do you deal with the pain of being betrayed/used by others in the Episode community? How do you heal? What are your words of wisdom for others who go through these painful experiences? To the people who are lone wolves (you don’t have any other member from the community supporting you), does it bother you that you have to go on your writing journey alone?

Thanks for reading :rose: :wilted_flower:

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I recommend you block whoever is stabbing you in the back and surround yourself in friends to back you up or support you.

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How do you deal with the pain of being betrayed/used by others in the Episode community?
Cry

How do you heal?
By crying

What are your words of wisdom for others who go through these painful experiences?
Just cry it all out


I cry a lot :flushed: I’ll do a more lengthy and serious answer a bit later, don’t worry

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I’m a pretty petty person so normally when I’m Backstabbed I take revenge on them :flushed:

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oof I felt this. I do the same hehe :pensive::joy:

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Yeah, you’re right. The people who used me were sweet to me though, which sucks. They were sugary sweet and then they turned poisonous, showing their true colors. I can’t believe they wasted MY time and THEIR time with their fake niceness and fake support. It’s really hard to know what peoples’ true intentions are. You don’t know what people are thinking. Honestly, I don’t know how people can betray others. I would feel endless amounts of guilt and not be able to get out of bed if I hurt someone that way. I don’t know how they can’t feel guilt. Why? Just why? And don’t even get me started on some of the authors who let popularity get to their head. That’s great, you can celebrate but if you start treating others beneath you, then you are seriously just plain rude. Also, thanks for your response, it’s much appreciated!

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Eat, eat, cry and listen to some sad, dramatic music.

Trough time.

It’s gonna be tough, but you can go trough it :slightly_smiling_face:

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No problem!! There’s definitely some people on here who aren’t fake friends, you just need to find them. My PMs or DMs or whatever you call them are always open!

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There will always be people in any community, and in life in general, who will either turn their back on you, or full blown backstab you. Yes, it hurts, a LOT, especially if it was someone you were particularly close to, or supported a lot.

Sure, I get upset, that’s only normal. I have a few true friends that I know I can always vent to and release all my frustrations without any judgment.

When I was younger, I let what those people said and did get to me inside and change who I was as a person. Of course, this was not in the Episode community, but just being betrayed in general.
But you know what?
If you let the actions of a few define who you are, let them change who you are, then they won.
Now, instead, I let it fuel me. Fuel my writing, fuel my drive. It puts a little bit of a chip on my shoulder but push harder to prove them wrong.

Take the high road. Don’t call them out (good job for not doing so). You reacting, only brings more attention to the situation, more attention to them, and makes you look bad.
Also, don’t let it change who you are inside.
Remember, not all people are like that, and those who are always end up showing their true colors to others eventually. Slowly, the whole community will see them for who they really are.
It’s very hard to forget what happened because you won’t.
You can’t choose how someone makes you feel, you CAN choose how you react.
Take the negative energy and put it to good.

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Yep ^^ I got a little backstabbed recently ^^’ I blame myself though. I should have known better than to trust these people ^^ See, it’s happened before, the same people. I’m far too forgiving. And @fcukforcookies gave me fantastic advice, which is something more along the lines of “if you’re gonna forgive, forgive, but be more cautious.” I know I have to stop trusting people ^^ These specific people are the kind that you get betrayed by and it brings tears to you, but…otherwise, I can skip the crying part, LOL and just be like, “Well…ya know, I’m too awesome for you anyway.”

You may not believe it when you say or think it, but DO say outloud “I’m too awesome for you anyway.” Positive words directly in your head constantly really does help with the optimism thing. I speak from experience, and no, it isn’t easy, but not impossible. <3 <3

Love you, Jem <3 <3

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U missed the part where I advised to pour some laxatives in their drink after forgiving.
But yeah ^^ <3

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I don’t know if being backstabbed here gives the same feeling as if IRL. Cause I never experienced the first, but a lot of second.
What I actually meant in convo with Neli is - sure, forgive them, cause it is the best you can do for yourself, but never forget and don’t give second chances. People don’t change mostly. And while giving a second chance might seem like something every kind person should do, you should always care more about yourself.
So screw backstabbers, cheaters, liars and second chances :woman_shrugging:

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So my question is how do you deal with the pain of being betrayed/used by others in the Episode community?
I get angry :upside_down_face: very mad. Sometimes so mad I cry.

How do you heal?
I distract myself by drawing or listening to music. Talking to people
What are your words of wisdom for others who go through these painful experiences?
They ain’t worth your tears or time :stuck_out_tongue: f*ck them you don’t need them
Google quote I found
“Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind for a reason.”

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Love you too @NelidaU :hugs: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

And yeah, this is awesome advice, tell yourself you’re awesome and you rock, no time to shed tears for people who don’t care about us :sunglasses:

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Fool me one… shame on you.
Fool me twice… shame on me.
I think that’s what you are getting at.
People don’t change, they just change who their targets are.
That’s why I said that people will show their true colors to the community eventually.
I kind of chuckle inside, not going to lie, when people who have backstabbed me, or whatever it may be, go on to have problems with others in the community. Of course, there have been some, who turned their backs on others, and I was too blind or didn’t want to believe, only to be shown myself later the kind of person they really are.
You notice patterns, which says a lot about the people.
Sure, I’ve had issues with people in the community, usually because I refused to turn my back on another person or friend (even some I probably should have) but that’s okay. I would rather lose friendships because I refused to turn my back on someone than keep a friendship by sacrificing another.

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“Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind for a reason.”

I love that quote!!!

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Just gotta remember that it’s not u. There are these specific kinds of people, and they will do the same thing to anyone nearby, it’s just happened to be you now.
But gotta share the blame if u fell for the same thing twice.

But if we’re talking about forums, just keep ur eyes open. There’s a lot of things happening every day, and people willingly or unwillingly expose themselves.
And the irony, some people, who might seem to be the sweetest at first are the ones you should avoid.

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Absolutely!

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this honestly sounds like something someone would say about me lol

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Yes @ leslie.creates , so true and I LOVE this quote as well (the one you mentioned):

If someone always spends their time in the back, they can’t go forward.
If you want to spend your life hurting someone, then you truly are a bad person. And we don’t have time for bad people. And to anyone, who wants to cry, remember, don’t waste more time on them! Just remain positive and focus on your own well-being. Surround yourself with people who are trusting. But be careful.

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