Dear Harper,
I just wanted to write you this poem and tell you how I feel. I hope you don’t find this weird and stop talking to me because I don’t know what I would do if you did. So here it goes.
If you ask me how many times you have crossed my mind since we met, I would say once because you never really leave it, I think about your emerald green eyes all the time, how they sparkle in the night sky, or how they light up when you are happy, I think about your smile and how its so warm and welcoming, I think about your beautiful dark brown hair, how it has the smallest amount of red in it and can only be seen if the light hits it just so, I think about how happy you get just to help others and never want anything in return, I think about you day and night, and to me, you are amazingly beautiful. Ever since I met you, I could not picture a day without you.
So there it is. I said it. I am putting this in your locker because I don’t think I could scrounge up the courage to hand this to you.
Yours truly,
Seth
Yes
No
Or may change a few things or add (if so please tell me what.)
Well, I think that’s because you spelled the words correctly, but they weren’t the right words… For example, “scents” is something that describes a smell… The beautiful scent of the rose, when I think you meant “since” instead
The first sentence is a bit way too long. I suggest breaking it up into more sentences. As for the last sentence it felt awkward reading it. I suggest writing I think about you day and night, and to me, you are amazingly beautiful. Ever since I met you, I could not picture a day without you.
I would suggest also writing - So there it is. I said it. I am putting this in your locker because I don’t think I could scrounge up the courage to hand this to you.
I also agree with the previous user about the word scrounge. To me this letter sounds like a high school student wrote it. In reality, how many people are you going to find who say scrounge? It sounds a bit unatural to me. But other than that I think its a pretty great letter.
But that’s the point they are in high school and I wanted it to sound as though a high school wrote it. But thank you I changed the two lines in the poem.
Yes I do realize that. Sorry I should have worded it better. I meant as though how many teenagers have you heard say scrounge? I think it would be better to find another word for it so it sounds more natural and realistic.
I may or may not change it, Seth is a character of his own and he says things most people wouldn’t because his only had one friend other then his parents growing up because he was homeschooled do to problems so he don’t always say what others would because he is socially awkward and shy. So I will think about it but I am not sure if I will change it. Thank you everyone for your help.
I’m actually a poet IRL. This seems more like a letter than a poem. The descriptions seem to be that, descriptions. I suggest looking at a few professionally written poems.
I’ve heard it used before, but I think in this case, another word should be used
