Does it intrigue you?

Hey y’all I’ve been doubting myself. I’ve asked for someone’s opinion on here. But I wanted to take it here and ask for everyone else’s opinion.

Would you read this?

Description:

Betrayal, lies, death & the truth.

Broken but holding on, Darya tries to build herself from scratch but encountering Sargent Noah Anders? Will it be a soft relief or same threat?

Please let me know.

:pleading_face:

(Don’t steal, thank you).

not really, it just feel like a cryptic line its not written bad but its not a description, because I have no idea what its about, like what is this story about,

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From what I’m gathering, is this about Darya finding love with a guy in the military? It sounds interesting, but it’s kind of vague, and the first line about the betrayal, lies, and death confuses me.

Did she get betrayed by someone we don’t know or was she backstabbed by the Sergeant? Is she off the grid? Is she trying to hide her identity? I have a lot of questions tbh.

The description also has some minor grammar mistakes that might hinder understanding of what the description is trying to say.

Would this description be similar to yours? Broken from past experiences, Darya tries to build herself up, but instead encounters the mysterious Sergeant Noah Anders. Is this a new form of relief or a potential threat?

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Thanks for the critic, the story is about a girl name Darya. She got kicked out from her home leaving her homeless and she has Insomnia. She never sleeps or else she gets nightmares about her best friend getting killed. She blames herself from not doing anything that night. Ever since that she’s been guilt tripping herself. She also got betrayed from her family ^ like I said she got kicked out.

But hopefully that’s something? If you don’t mind I can I’m the rest?

Edit; She got kicked out because her family was a smashed of her since she didn’t fit the whole prestigious life.

Edit: I apologize for any grammar mistakes my keyboard goes to Spanish to Italian.

Hm, can I pm?

I could use a guide :sweat_smile:. I’m really stressing over here.

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Alright!

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Thank you!

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@line123462 thank you again for being honest!

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that one dosent really make sense,

but see now I know what its about, and the description you first made sounded good, but it gave no idea of the plot.

descriptions are hard, because they both have to sound good but also just give an idea of what people are reading.

a good tip I like to give for episode writhing is to not describe the entire story, but only the first 3 chapters. because that is what people will open the story for.

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here is just a little attempt I tried though I still find it wage it still gives a small idea about what this is about. I dont know if it fits in the description, its so little text you can have in them.

I dont sleep, how can I after what I have seen, and my family aren’t helping, trying to build myself from scratch, I am alone with this, but maybe Sargent Noah Anders can help me out of my isolated self.

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Honestly, I agree these are hard to write. Oh and ignore the smashed.

Her family is very known in Russia and they’re wealthy since they have a well known business. But she doesn’t want to be known for their awesome accomplishments. She wants a name for herself. In order to do that she has to talk to her parents and her parents didn’t like it so they kicked her out with nothing to help her survive.

Nice attempt, I appreciate it but maybe I’ll figure out another description.

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descriptions i hard, but remeber you can always change them.

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Thank you! Not only for keeping it real but for the advice.

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@Nick or @Sydney_H can you close this thread, please and thank you :upside_down_face:

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