Does this sounds kinda realistic?

Is this kinda realistic?
sooo
girl’s mother died bc she had cancer when girl was 16…they were already so poor so they had to ask for money…only option was mafia. her father got enough money and had to pay back in 1 month. her father got fired and couldn’t pay back on time so they killed him. they were haunting her for 4 years and she got away until now when they almost killed her but her LI that is not from mafia ofc found her
THIS STORY IS NOT ABOUT ROMANTIZICING MAFIA! IT’S TO SHOW HOW BAD THEY ARE!
This story is about beautiful Italy, Italians and their culture but love story too.

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It’s a great idea, I’ll give you that… But tbh it kinda sounds a little bit far stretched…? :grimacing:

Thank you for not romanticizing mafia :smile:

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what do u mean?

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I agree with them.

It is a good idea, and it’s great that you’re not romanticizing the mafia. In my opinion, it’s very, very unlikely that all of those things can happen all in the same story. There are many other possibilities and other places to go to in cases of homelessness and poverty (but of course, it is a very difficult situation). But I understand that it’s fiction, so do as you like. :blush:

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The only thing with this is the mafia does not loan money out (or not really known to)
Your best bet is to have her chased by loan sharks for the father taking out title loan or something else at high interest Rate
Also yes good on you for not romanticizing mafia :partying_face:

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Some of the events that are occuring within the plot are really extra… Like it’s kind of hard to believe that all this is happening to one family… But if there was a family curse and stuff then I guess it’s okay…? But in the end it’s your story so feel free to write what makes you happy! :smiley:

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i put mafia bc i think it’s italy and it has to be in there just like to say that there is mafia in italy. yeah i understand now that u said it tho

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Here’s a great article on the mafia:

I’d check it out

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yeah i understand that i wanted to show that like mafia is bad and :face_vomiting: in my story by having them destroyed

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tysm❤

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yeah i just figured that out like i wasnt thinking sorry

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Np!
It sounds like you are talking about loan sharks tbh
Loan sharks can be connect to the mafia sometimes but Mostly mafia is illegal criminal activities with under ground business (correct me if I’m wrong)
You can certainly mention the mafia but mainly refer it to loan sharks if the father is borrowing them money that is

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No, no don’t apologize! It’s a great plot… there’s just a few plot holes that need to be filled! :grin:

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tyy💕

i just saw artice maybe her father can be wiseman (someone who is connected with mafia) but idk how🤦🏼‍♀️im rlly stupid

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Personally, I think your story is a great idea. There could be a sister that shares the same load of ‘bad’ as her sister, the 16 year old. It seems like a lot to go through for a 16 year old girl. I will read your story when it’s out! :two_hearts: :slightly_smiling_face:

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tysm❤

welcome to community

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The only thing I can say is to continue researching to portray it accurately

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bahahaha tysm💕

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I’m so happy you’re choosing not to romanticize the mafia! So asking the mafia for the money is actually very common, but they want extreme prices in return. For example, you might ask them for 100 dollars and they’ll ask you to give them 200 dollars back. Every week that passes that you don’t repay them, the price would be raised from like 200 to 400 to 600 and so on. They might also ask you to participate in anything illegal they might need and threaten your family if you don’t comply. They would also go as far as to burn and destroy things around you. A big thing with the mafia are extreme bargains they knew you wouldn’t be able to uphold. I would only suggest to change the one month to even just a week because their prices were really that extreme. Other threats they might use are "You’ll give me half of your income every month and if you don’t, I’ll destroy your store/kill your insert family member etc… I’m not sure when your story takes place, but they’ve started to get involved in politics more recently. Things like “I’ll get you the votes you need to win, but you’ll do what I say when you’re in power”. I hope this helps you out a bit, and thank you for correctly portraying the mafia and showing other parts of Italian culture <3

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