Double Check, Episode 1, Of my new story


Hey everybody i would love if someone would give me response, of my story… Write if you think its good or bad, plus give me ideas im pretty stuck…


@CecilieCreate Already some feedback, can you let the main character change their hair color or no?


I can’t then the cover i made, won’t look right.


@CecilieCreate its fine and also, for the part where you get to choose where you get a cookie or a donut, make sure to take the prop out of her hand.


Okay, i will check again :smiley:


Thanks for the feedback!


And for the locker room have a space between locker and room.


I have already changed that!


But do you have some ideas or something?


for “you sounds really cool.” part change sounds to sound.




For the “I” parts capitalize the i’s


Because it doesn’t make sense.


?.. What do you mean???


For the part where someone says “You sounds really cool. wanna hang out for lunch?” part changes sounds to sound. Because when you read it it sounds better than sounds.


@CecilieCreate Also, what is the storyline for this story?


I have changed it :smiley:


What’s a storyline…
Sorry English is not my main.


Basically, it is what the story is about.


Oh, :smile: its about Avery, her life in a new school and a new city…How she gets friends and boyfriends, how she get cheated on, and that stuff :smiley: And one day her Mom gets really sick, and Avery have to help her…