Emily Reviews (FREE and genuine) (CLOSED)

I already read yours.

I would love to get a detailed review. I want to keep improving my story.
If you have time please check it out.

Author: Maria.StoryWritter
Genre: Horror
Discription: Lies,love, kidnapped What else can go wrong.Will you be able to escape Him.Will you ever forgive your parents.Will you ever be able to love and trust again.
Episodes: 9 and more to come

Thank you

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Directing 7/10
Your story had sound effects and music which is good. Your directing is simple but thats okay. You’re learning. I didn’t really spot any mistakes aside from the one with Kaede and Ariya where in it was clear Kaede was taller than her then the two of them became the same height when she kissed her. The spot directing there needs some work.
Dialogue 6/10
At first i was okay with your grammar but it just seems a little off You need to work on it. Another thing is that I think you should give the readers more background on what the characters were talking about i dont know if its just me but the first chapter made me a bit confused. Although i did understand some parts.
Plot 5/10
Like i said. I didnt understand much about what was going on but i started to understand a bit more in the second episode. I think you should add a bit more in the first episode so that the readers would want to go to the next one.
Characters 6/10
I think i understand Zen’s character more but the rest i feel no connection to them. Maybe you should show more of their personality.
Overall comment:
Make your episodes a bit longer.
PS: Dont give up you can still make some changes. Revise it, proofread it again and again if you have to. You can do it :slight_smile:

Hello! So here is my review for your story, Guard in Rouge.
Directing 7/10
I like how you used overlays in the beginning. You need to work on your spot directing. When a character is far from the camera, dont use the command @CHARACTER exits left/right so it would not look weird. In the club scene i suggest you put music since clubs are meant to have loud music. And not just that, try adding music sometimes to set the mood. Add sound effects to the doorbell and the car honk too.
Dialogue 6/10
Yeah like you said English is not your first language but you need to work on your grammar anyway.
Characters 6/10
In the first episode, you might wanna show more of the characters personality because most of it was just them having fun. Nothing much really happened but its good you somehow ended it in a cliffhanger. I like the fact that you put yourself in the story :slight_smile: although you might wanna lessen your appearance a bit as this story is mostly about the characters and i felt like you got more screen time than Katherine. Idk just a suggestion but its up to you.
Plot 7/10
I dont really know what is going on or what was the main point of the story when i started the first episode so you might wanna make it clearer for the readers. But i did like the part where Katherine was fighting those two in the alleyway. Something you don’t see in female MCs nowadays. But I do understand a bit more going through episode 2 and 3 after the character Rouge was introduced.
Overall comment
Nothing much to say. I think i explained everything. The only thing i can say is that you make your episode 1 more detailed and give the characters more background.
PS: I dont think i need to promote your story if ever since you already have over a thousand reads.

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I thought you would have sent it through PM lol it’s my fault that I didn’t ask specifically.
Thank you so much for your review. It was my first sorry. I didn’t really know how to do the directing so I kind of improvised on the first few episodes. As for the grammar, I didn’t proof-read it so some of them might be typos or I was absent-minded when I wrote the dialogues. Thanks for pointing that out since “English isn’t my first language” isn’t an excuse I can use for my crappy grammar. I got kind of lazy while re-vamping it. But your feedback is really helpful. I’ll keep those in mind. Thanks again for your time. I really appreciate it. :slight_smile:

2K reads only is kind of sad actually lol but you don’t need to promote it if you don’t want to. It’s nice enough of you just to review my story and didn’t ask anything in return. Thank you :smile:

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Hi! Just finished your review :slight_smile:
Directing 8/10
I dont usually like stories starting in the second episode but i will make an exception for this since its not a CC episode and wow overlays in the intro were spot on and i appreciate your effort doing the food overlays. There was a mistake during the first scene when the mom wakes up linda and her brother. The brother was on top of the mom’s layer.
The part where the parents were giving Linda the talk you might want to switch angles since readers dont want to be staring at their back the entire time.
I noticed you kept using the loop animation. If you are gonna use it, make sure the character stops talking as soon as the dialogue is done.
Dialogue 6/10
I like how you did the narration for the trailer and i suggest you use more transition fade ins and outs since its a trailer and maybe don’t show the whole scene just make the characters say a few words. I suggest you put periods and punctuations in the dialogue and your grammar needs a little work and some words were not capitalized.
The fact that they were talking about where they were conceived in the 2nd episode was weird and funny.
Characters 6/10
I’m not sure what to think of them at the moment but they somehow have their own personality. I’m just not sure what to think about Linda though
Plot 7/10
I found the first day of school in the beginning of your story a bit cliche but the drama makes me wonder whats gonna happen next as after the first 3 episodes, there was no mystery just pure drama. I suggest you add more mystery in the 2nd and 3rd episode.

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Thank you this helps a lot. Thank you very much for detailing. Now I will work on improving my story. Some People don’t realize having a review is actually good. Just the fact you can know what is lacking. And yes I know my grammar needs some I mean alot of work :). You have no idea how grateful I am. Thanks again.

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I just started with the zooming on characters while talking. Fixing the scene when the parents are having the talk. And holy mother a god, It’s way much harder than I thought, I admire those authors who do use them. I just tried and previewed it and holy crap looks much better.

That is why readers need to be more patient and wait for the authors to publish and not ask constantly when are your going to publish, because it is a lot of work.

Just wanted to share that. Thank you again :wink:

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You’ll get the hang of it I know i have. Kinda
Yeah i dont experience that kind of message that much but its kinda annoying and some of them dont realize how hard it is and even have the balls to talk trash about it or be rude.

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