Hi, I have a story called No Regrets by CruzingQueen and i’d love if anyone reviewed it thank you (:
Hi, all of the Bomb memebers are currently busy reviewing story’s. But we will have someone read your story in no time!
yas anf i’ll give her feedback
i’'l read it and ill give u feedback!
We have a theme song!
yas! we doo
Ofc we do
I just had to screech!
Story Title: Princess of Darya
Author: CC (@cc_episodewriter )
Episodes Read: 3
Plot: So far the plot is very intriguing. You have a very interesting concept going and I am excited to learn more about this world you have created. The princesses are all very wonderfully done. I enjoy the characters although I haven’t gotten to know them that well yet (I’m sure that will come).
Directing: Is this your first story?!?! Cause the directing is amazing, like seriously teach me! Lol. I did note a couple minor things you might want to address:
- In episode 2 when the Protectors are sparring they are a little far apart so they aren’t really touching each other when they punch, I would move them a little bit closer together, not much though.
- When the protectors are introduced Sarid doesn’t have his suit on yet and you can see it change so that he is wearing the suit, you should have him change into it in the scene before or something so you don’t see him change.
Your backgrounds and overlays are great! Your directing makes your story easy to watch and helps it flow together nicely. Excellent work!
Grammar/Spelling: Overall you have great grammar which allows me to easily read and understand your story. There were a few minor mistakes I noted that I thought I would point out:
- Whenever your highness is used as a title (like used addressing a specific person) it should be capitalized. E.g. Good evening Your Highness
- Instead of using the & symbol spell and all the way out
- In episode 3 Aerwyna is talking to Princess Shula and Princess Shula says I wonder where you have been? It should probably be I was wondering where you were or something like that.
Overall I really enjoyed the start to your story, it is one that I would be willing to add to my favorites shelf and I look forward to learning what happens next. Keep up the good work!
Review by: DA PIE
Thank you Miss Bomby!
juumm maybe, i’f we have so much requests they’ll get lost or somehing like that…just saying
why don’t we chat in the bomb chat this is weird lol
Hi! Here is your story review! I hope it helps!
Directing - Your directing was really good! Your zooms were great! Sometimes your characters don’t speak though.
Story Flow - Your story flowed really well! The transitions were really good too!
Length - I felt that the length of your episodes was great but maybe just add a little more to make them a little bit longer.
Extra - I loved the use of the filter in the first episode. It really set the scene! I also liked the use of the time stamps and how you told us where we are. When Sierra is talking to Dayna on the phone in the first episode she says “hanged” instead of “hung.” Also, if your character is thinking, remember to put parenthesis around your script. I also loved how you put yourself in the intros to each chapter. Btw, those and the outros of each chapter were really funny. I also really liked the backgrounds where you show what year it is.
Should I format my reviews like that? As of this moment I am not going as structured for my reviews because I am writing down the most important details I see and haven’t set up a system yet.
That’s fine (: take as long as you guys need.
What you have been doing is perfectly fine you are very deatailed