Feedback For my story!

Hey dudes!

I created a new story called: “Sweet Seduction.” Could you guys please read all of it and give me feedback. I am new to episode and I for sure know that my book may be slightly cringe.
If you enjoy romance, humor and action. Please give it a read :grin:

Thanks! x

3 Likes

It’s also by: thickynicky
xx

1 Like

I’ll be sure to read it!

I’ll take a looksies and brb :wink:

Thanks so much! :relaxed:

Thanks!!! :yum:

3 episodes read.

Cover: I like it.
Big Cover: The dude on it weirdly looks exactly how I expect an Ink male to look in real life :joy:
Description: Wouldn’t know how to improve it, but honestly doesn’t make me want to click on the play button.
Title: There’s another story by the exact same name and has a similar plot :thinking: so maybe you might want to change that… or not. It’s your story. However, the name is still unique enough someone might remember it if they forgot to bookmark. AND the word seduction is good because everybody’s always searching for that on Episode :joy:


Backgrounds/Overlays: Cute, cool. All of them were used in a way that looked good. Except I think in the club scene you might be missing one bc the screen is just black :joy: but maybe it’s supposed to be like that
Animations/Directing: REally g0od.
Sound: Fun. Upbeat. Funny. Matches the atmosphere at all times.
Spelling and Punctuation: Good.
Dialogue Boxes: In the right spots except for the chicken scene in the park- where they’re in the same spot for a minute.

Progression of Time: Works. Makes sense.


Pros:

  • Somehow you made all the INK characters NOT look alike :joy:
  • Also, it was really funny. I actually laughed out loud.
  • Fort-day :face_with_monocle::sob:
  • The plot was obviously made just for me. How’d you know I liked The Bling Ring? I love when the main characters are the villains but not like straight up gross monster villians :joy:
  • I liked the use of readerMessage. It was never too overloaded with “overlay by _____” or “template by ______” which throws me out of the story for a minute usually. DogLover990 knows what I’m talking about :wink:

Cons:

  • Sh*thead ran out of drinks too early :sob:
  • Weird black screens instead of backgrounds sometimes.
  • The grocery store was so… real. :skull:
  • Ethan drove me home and I didn’t even want to go home :rage:
  • That “Spice Girls” track was clearly not Spice Girls :joy:
  • Saying you’d continue when you get x amount of reads. I used to do that on Wattpad when I was 12 and I look back and that was just dumb :skull:

:white_check_mark: CC
:x: Simple Directing
:white_check_mark: Advanced Directing
Diversity Scale:
[🏻
[🏼 Right here. Not really important in this story, but it will be in someone’s story.
[🏽
[🏾
[🏿
:white_check_mark: Outfits Are Cute
:white_check_mark: Custom Backgrounds/ Overlays
:white_check_mark: Uses Sound


TL;DR: I really liked it.

Oh my god, Thank you so much!

Your feedback was very helpful. You are such a good critic and I understand the cons of my story now. The title, TBH I don’t know what I was doing but the description I’d surely change. Also, I used to write on wattpad so that’s why I did the X amount of reads :joy: AHHH THINKING BACK WHY DID I DO THAT!!! :weary:

I’m quite new to episode so I will attempt to fix the black scenes. Furthermore, the grocery store, hehe. So do I need more diversity?

Thanks smmmmmmm <3 you have been an excellent critic! x

1 Like

:joy:

I guess I could’ve left that whole section out since it’s not really relevant in your story but it seems like a lot of people want to know how much diversity is in something rn so its just part of my template :joy:

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