This story is unpublished but I will be providing a link
This is the saga of the once not so eligible bachelor Lalit who runs away from his wedding. He fights all forms of convention and challenges of the community he was raised in. Running away from his own wedding his life is in pieces so you follow him on a journey of damage control, sarcasm and self discovery.
Link:
I want to know if you find the story engaging and if you would want to read on, I would love some feedback and comments on your thoughts about the story so far 
Thank you!
Let me check it out
Aww thank you!
I like it. Seems like your story will be a good one, but I have a small note: it is about it:
Maybe it might not be my place to say it, but I think when you wrote “son” after the words “under my”, there was a small spelling mistake: it is “under my nose”, not “under my son”.
Besides, the story is totally fine and I see that you make some diversity, which is good, and I hope you will add in the future and keep this way.
Make sure to write the pilot well, so more people would like to read your story. 
I wish you happy writing 
!
Ahh thank you so much for spotting that! It is always helpful having a fresh pair of eyes checking the story out 
Always glad to help
Any other reviewers willing to give feedback?
-The opening is cool and fun! I do think it’s a few seconds too long.
-I’m really glad its a male MC!
-I think he should a have a look of more fear/panic before he says he’s not getting married.
-Lailani is trash 
-His mouth moves while he’s thinking about running into the forest.
-And when his mom is speaking. You should add a non speaking animation every time after a character speaks so their mouth isn’t moving when another speaks.
-I love his determination and humor!
-The timing when Lalit and Brenda bump into each other is a tad awkward, the timing is a bit off.
-Brenda is spunky and realistic lol
-LMAO….ASS!
-Ummmmmm…is that coffee shop cutie with ex-fiance?!
-The layer is off when his parents walk away, they walk between the “couple” in the back. Move couple to layer 0 and parents to 1.
-His dialogue is hilarious
-The parents are layered wrong as well, move dad to 1 then mom to 2 before they start talking.
-Not sure if gori means anything or if you meant to put girl, but Amma says that when she’s caps lock yelling at him lol
-The dad is funny toooooo.
-I really love Lalit getting real about his culture and the negativity he’s had to face with his family.
-Sometimes the dad’s face is offscreen when he speaks, maybe make him smaller, move him to the left more, or zoom out.
-Love the mom pacing back and forth haha
-The first episode ended abruptly.
Overall, I enjoyed the story and kudos to you for introducing a culture not usually shown and making the MC male! Fun story and great humor!
Thank you so so so much! Omfg you are a blessing for giving me such detailed feedback
Gori is a word for white woman - I use foreign language in the story haha
Okay, had a feeling but good to know! Your welcome by the way 
Keep writing 
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