This is exactly how you should set up a thread, like I was saying last night. You’ll get a much better response this way.
- I don’t think there’s any “correct” way to represent demons. Is this a recurring motif in your story? Is it consistent to the other times you’ve represented demons? Are they real demons, or just a result of her mental state?
- Sure, they don’t say much to each other, though, it seems like it’s more the demon’s scene than theirs.
- It seems like something many people with depression face.
A question I have is why would Eli not believe Anna when she has been kissed without her consent? Does Eli not trust Anna, and is there a reason why in their past that Eli wouldn’t believe her (ie. has Anna cheated in the past?)? It sounds like being kissed without your consent ending in a break up would be quite traumatizing, is it going to cut from that break up scene to the Marissa scene in your story? Or will we see some of Anna dealing with her grief and trauma? Also, does Eli ever face narrative consequences for not believing and leaving Anna when she’s been assaulted?