Feedback needed - LL, first story, Chapter one finished now!

Heyy! I need feedback about the first chapter of my first story!
You can read it here

After reading, please fill in this review for me, so i can work on my story to make it better:

Entertainment and directing

Are there any boring scenes?

If yes, where?

What scene was the funniest/most entertaining?

Do you feel like reading the whole story after reading this chapter?

Was the end a good cliffhanger?

Were there any bugs/glitches/errors or anything what makes the story hard to read?

Was the chapter long enough?

Future expectations

Do you think this is a good story, and if yes, is it good enough to get featured someday?


Does this chapter has a good structure?

Was it confusing sometimes, and if yes, in what way?

Grammar and spelling

Write down every little grammar or spelling fault you saw, and if there are none, write if there are sentences that could have a better structure.

Only one question left: In what genre would you place this story?

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