Feedback Needed Please

So, I am the author of the story Crossed Paths.

In light of recent feedback, I have made some adjustments to episodes 1 and 2.

I have changed the dialogue, provided lessons for readers to learn from and tried to focus more on character development.

I have added some more information as well as tried to make Derek far less desperate - I want to see if my adjustments have truly worked.

If you are able to take the time to see if my story has improved, I would appreciate it profoundly.

I am kind of at a loss and going through some block of what to do to improve the appeal of my story. I consider this story my baby but at the same time, is it an ugly baby? So, I am just kinda stumped and even discouraged.

Please provide the review here, thank you so much and review the first two episodes please!

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Well, also the concern of my story getting stagnant and is worth reading - be honest as possible please.

I will review it.

Thanks so much! Also, love the username

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Thanks :smiley: Also. What is author’s name? There are few stories with such title.

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My author name is Dreamer, I provided a link too :heart:

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So I’m writing as I read.
Sound splash ir great, especially with looped background.
Cool scene with a TV :smiley: Then when Joanne and, it’s a bit weird that Joanne stands with her back to Mindy. I understand, you want to show Joanne’s animation. In these cases what I do, is switch between two backgrounds, so when Joanne would speak, we see her standing in front of the TV, with Mindy with her back, and when Mindy is speaking, then Joanne turns her back.
Scene with dressing game. In my opinion it would be better to scene whole Mindy, not just up to her ass. So we can better see the whole outfit :slight_smile: Uhuh, saw reader message, don’t be a lazy ass :smiley:
I finished 1st episode at this point. Dialogues are good, funny and smooth for me.
Ending was a bit abrupt, maybe it would be better to finish it on some sort of cliffhanger?
I will read 2nd a bit later. Overall I liked it. I don’t know what’s going to be next, but as I understood it is a story about complex relationship. I just hope we will a regular life of Mindy. It is nice to know that character is not only dating, clubbing, but also has some interests, career. Hope it helped. Love.

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Ah, thank you! Haha (good idea with the dressing game lol - I’ll adjust that and I love idea with the OTS shot). Yes, I have been sort of stuck on how to end the first episode on a cliffhanger. Maybe, have Derek walking in and saying hi instead and just leave it at that - so that could act as a cliffhanger.

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea :slight_smile:

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So, I’ve made further adjustments to add a cliffhanger at the end of the first episode. Lol, it is rare if anybody willingly screenshots the scenes in my story but I mean, I am thankful for the love I have and feedback which always helps me want to improve.

Well, I really do not know what else to do because I have been listening and acting on feedback to improve my story but I feel like my story is going stagnant. I do not want to do R4Rs anymore because I feel like you’re more or less obliged to read someone’s story rather than truly enjoy it, I want people to choose my story because they WANT to read it but now I am doubting that’s gonna happen.

Like, I know I should not compare my stories to other people’s but what else can I do to make it stand out? I don’t know but my motivation is starting to wear off so RIP -__- (any fellow authors who feel this way, join the club pls.)


Thank you but self doubt is creeping in. I am just starting to lose motivation, I guess.

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That is so kind, but honestly you do not have to do that!

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Honestly, it’s fine. Thank you though, that is so good of you. I am just kind of going through a crappy stage, I’ll pick myself back up again - I always do haha.

Thanks for the offer, I really appreciate it.

I understand you. A year ago I started a story, and it got banned after 7th episode. No idea why. But then I lost all interest in writing for a while. Now, I started again, and I have like 5 reads)) It also demotivates. But today I got first fan mail, so I got a little motivation. But seriously, if you feel like you stuck, which happens to everyone I think, just watch a movie, than has similarities with your story, listen to the music. We all need a little inspiration from time to time. But I’ve read a lot of stories, and to be honest biggest part of them are not of a good quality. They lack an idea, and authors don’t put much effort. Your story is good. You just have to sit down and think a bit, how you want to finish it, what are the qualities of main characters, and the rest will fit into place :slight_smile: I hope it helped.

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Thank you so much, I already know how it will end haha - I guess it is more to do with the actually getting the energy to bother writing my latest episode. Like, I just don’t see the point of it but I am really sorry to hear your story got banned - it bothers me how stories which are perfectly fine just get banned like that yet you see some stories that have borderline game of thrones style relationships -____-

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Don’t write if you don’t see any point. Maybe you just need a break. I think writing is supposed to be fun. I know, that it is a hard work, but it is fun for me, at least for now.
But regarding bans, I agree. I see a lot of rules violation, but stories don’t get banned. Mine barely got 1,500 reads ans got banned :smiley: I think Episode should at least send some kind of notice, that your story violates rules, and mention what kind of rules, and give time to fix it. Not just ban, without explanation.

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I agree - episode needs more transparency regarding a lot of issues including banning to updates.

Also, thanks, I may as well take a break - I am not really going to force myself at the moment. I am in the kind of mood to just discontinue my story so I am just going to leave my story alone now in case I do end up just burning it to the ground lool.

And y’all just witnessed a burnout! :joy: Sorry all but still feel free to give feedback.

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