Feedback on draft!

hi everyone! i was just wondering if someone would be able to give me some feedback on the first draft of the first episode of my new story?!

if yes, let me know and i’ll send you the link via pm or instagram!

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I can, though I can be a bit harsh, I try to be helpfull, it also depend on the person, I experience people whos story I basically trash, and they took it find, and others who I mention a couple of mistakes who got very angery.

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Im a proofreader for this shop if you wanna go to this shop and read the rules and fill out the form.

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