Feedback on first episode

I’ve just finished the first episode on another one of my stories. I really want to finish this story but I don’t want to move on before getting someone elses feedback, so yeah I would love if someone just read this first episode and told me if it’s a good plot idea, if you like the charcaters, if you like the directing etc.

Additional info, the first episode still has some things in can work on, and it would also be great if you would want to help me come up with ideas for this:

  • I want to create an animated intro in the beginning, the reason I haven’t done that yet is because I don’t have a title for the story (it’s quite hard creating covers etc. without having the title). If you decide that you would want to read my first episode, feel free to also tell me if you have any ideas on a title! :smile:

  • I think that my first episode also might be too short, but I have no idea on what scenes to include in order to make it longer. I maybe need a good cliffhanger too, so if you are creative and get what I’m trying to achieve with the story when reading it it would be great if you would help me with some ideas!

Thanks in advance, if I happen to publish this story in the future I’ll of course give you credit for helping me.

x Puma :two_hearts:

What’s your story about

It’s hard to describe haha, but mainly about a quite useless employer, Michelle, working for a big movie producer and about an athlete, Robin, that isn’t able to run anymore. Robin’s manager decided that she will participate in a movie because she needs publicity, and since the big movie producer doesn’t really know what to do with Michelle she decides Michelle will be Robin’s assistant. I just realized that besides a title I need to come up with a story description that makes sense, cuz this is just messy :neutral_face:

Would you like me to send you the script so you can read it?

Sure :slight_smile:

What about something like

From useless to useful.

But let me have a read and I’ll get back to you :slight_smile:

Ps it may take me a few hours to read as I’m doing a few things for Work too

#adult life

:joy:

1 Like

Oh no worries, I’m glad you want to help!

I’ve come up with another scene to add but I haven’t had time to finish it yet, so just ignore the ending with the last scene for now - with this new scene the story will be both longer and have a more intresting clifhanger :blush:

Here is my story: