Feedback wanted on Choice shaped story 💕

opinion
general

#1

Hi episode babies :two_hearts:

I’m writing a choice heavy new story where the reader has full control of friendships and cut scenes as well as romantic interests and enemies.

It’s quite the ambitious project and I need urgent feedback. Should I invest more time in it or scrap it?

All criticism is accepted, and if you so choose feel free to PM (for privacy reasons) or simply reply to the topic.

If you leave your stories hidden in a format like the one I used above, I might read them when I get the time (tho I can’t promise anything as I’m in uni atm :slightly_frowning_face:)

About the story

Title: The Bet
Summary: Phil and his best friend Mike make a bet that will change both of their lives forever.
And Cassie’s who got caught in their game.
The Bet shapes to your choices and decisions.!
Genre: Romance/Drama

Link to story

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5840451294461952

Cover art


#2

Hey. I could read your story for few episodes, but I’ve got to warn you. I am pretty harsh on the stories, even with the most popular stories in episode can be crap. But I will try to bring up good things!


#3

Hi :two_hearts:
Dont worry, I can take criticism!
It would be great if you could take the time to read it and give me your honest opinion.

Thank you so much :blush:


#4

Hi! I am new and haven’t used Episode in years (since the classic feature was the only feature, and The Ember Effect was a user story…), I clearly won’t be of much help in terms of judging the fluidity of the characters.

I am, for the most part, intrigued with the story and how it plays out (since you say it is choice-heavy). I enjoy the zooms, and how they’re used, as well as the witty writing.

However, I am confused as to the POV that the story follows. Is it Third-Person Omniscient (where we can see all character’s thoughts)? We commonly follow Cassidy, as if we are looking on into her life, but we also see things that she doesn’t know about. I just want to know if this is intentional, so as to prevent continuity issues (where she knows something that only the viewer should be aware of). This is most Episodes’ way of story-telling, so this is just my personal question.

The only gripe that I have so far is the re-use of animations, specifically the eye-rolling in the first chapter. While the lack of variety in animations in general isn’t your fault, I feel that there may be a way to mask this issue. Maybe changing the dialogue in a way that can prevent the need for eye-rolling? Again, this could seem like nit-picking so feel free to ignore this,

Other than that, I don’t really see an issue in the Episode, it’s new (to me), and while story-wise we have seen the story of two people meeting that hate each other immediately, I think that you can add something new, especially with the choices!

Sorry for the long reply :sweat:, I’m only in the beginning of Chapter Two, so this might not be complete?


#5

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