A: middle finger. Now I can raise it to those I hate telling them I injured it. 
S: I was sunbathing on the beach when…
1 Like
A: a seagull stole my cheese puffs!
S: my crush is so cute but…
1 Like
A: he’s actually a teddy bear 
S: When I was trying to kill a cockroach…
1 Like
A: I fell on my face crushing the cochroach with my forehead.
S: I went to work and…
3 Likes
A. Fell on my boss
S. I was having the best time when i realised.
1 Like
A: I pooped myself.
S: During sex, I whispered…
1 Like
A: What’s your name again?
S: I went to visit all my aunts at their house, but when I opened the door…
2 Likes
A: They were dead on the floor.
S: While taking a walk…
2 Likes
A: I got hit by a train.
S: One time, at Grandma’s house…
1 Like
A: I caught her naked.
S: When swimming…
1 Like
A: I drowned.
S: While waiting for my poptart to pop out of the toaster…
1 Like
A: The power went out.
S: I went to my dad’s house…
1 Like
A: And he died.
S: One time, at a funeral…
1 Like
A: the corpse came back to life.
S: I caught my neighbors…
A: throwing someone out the window.
S: My enemy showed up at my house, and…
1 Like
A: and we ended up having passionate sexy time.
S: my dog is…
A: round and floofy.
S: The weirdest thing I’ve ever done was…
1 Like
A: Burp in front of a crowd.
S: When I was a kid, I used to…
1 Like
A: only wear skirts and tank tops.
S: I only eat…
A: Pizza and burgers.
S: While shopping…
1 Like