OMG, thank you SO MUCH for all your kind words and your very constructive criticism, this is the best review I have ever got.
Unfortunately, with zooms and characters being displayed it’s not actually the script error, it’s the glitch that is happening to everybody now. I think I should actually highlight it in the writer’s corner as it’s really annoying that you put so much effort in directing and the app just fails you. Were you reading from iOS or Android? On iOS devices the story mainly looks as it is supposed to. Other writers also told me that when there is a mess-up you just need to quit the chapter and then come back to it: this will solve the problem.
I am a perfectionist, so I spent tons of time on directing, and a whole separate day for music. It really pisses me off that the app is not doing what it is supposed to do as I have tested the story like a hundred times both on the laptop and the phone and it is supposed to work properly.
Still, thank you very much for highlighting these issues! I will look into them and update the chapters once the contest is over as, unfortunately, if I update now, it resets the story progress and this affects the reader engagement.
I agree with you that characters need a more in-depth story. There is a flashback in chapter 3, have a look at it, I am sure you will appreciate it. However, I still believe it is not enough. I really hope my story will get enough reads and will be well-received so that it motivates me to continue it, and then I will definitely have enough time to go into the characters’ phycology (I 100% agree it is absolutely crucial)
Overall, you really have just made my week. (day just wouldn’t be enough as it is the most amazing review ever) You can’t even imagine how grateful I am and how much this means to me.
I will definitely check out your story as well as I love the description just as much as the fact that the MC is a guy. I will do my best to write a similarly constructive review for you.
Let’s stay in touch! My newly setup IG is @episode.alex.af
I would be happy to promote your story as well. Judging by your feedback and the story description I am sure it is a very deep and thought through story which needs sharing. I am also way older than 13, so I am really happy that it targets adults
Lots of LOVE!