Get your story reviewed!

opinion

#1

Hello, Everyone!
I am looking for some stories to maybe review for some writers out there! I am new to the community, but like this category says, EVERYONE’S A CRITIC! And I think I can make some stories out there better with my suggestions! Now, be aware. I WILL NITPICK. Grammar and spelling errors bother me a lot! But if you’re into that, come on over and message me. Fill out the ‘form’ below and reply to this topic if you want me to review this story. :slight_smile:

FORM

Story Title:
Author:
Link:
Light Summary:
How many episodes should I read?
Anything else I should know?


#2

Here’s a comedy!!
It’s limelight

If you’re interested an well directed comedy with art scenes then look no further.

Story Title: Not to Hot (limelight)
Genre: Comedy/drama
Author: Zaddy
Description: (the story takes place in South Korea) A young highschool student named Dante has been bullied all his life due to his weight. After changing schools to have a new start, he wakes up one morning in a completely different body. This new body is GORGEOUS. Everytime he falls asleep he switches bodies; his old body works at night while his new body attends school. Dante thought that being attractive means his life would become significantly easier, he was dead wrong.


#3

Here’s mine:
Title: Dreams and Nightmares
Author: Dreamer
Genre: Romance
Style: Ink
Summary: Scarlet had a rough past and it looks like it’s not getting better after she was bought by some mysterious guy. Will she ever turn her life from a nightmare to a dream?
Episodes: I currently have 6 episodes published, but I’ll soon publish more, read as many as you want.
Anything else: My first language isn’t English, so there might be some mistakes and I really appreciate you telling me when you find them. I’ve dedicated all me free time to this story because I really enjoy writing, I hope you notice this while reading
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5452320906543104

Thank you so much for this!


#4

Sound great! I’ll read it as soon as possible.


#5

Great! I’ll get back to you soon :blush:


#6

I would love a review!!

TITLE Hale Huna
AUTHOR Anonymous Author
LINK http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5002839252664320
SUMMARY Kendall’s dad decides to move her and her brothers to Hawaii. She soon discovers she has the key to a world beyond her imagination…and secrets about who her mother really is…
CHAPTERS I have 8 published but I don’t expect you to read them all. Maybe at least 4 but if you enjoy it then maybe more?
ELSE It contains mature themes and strong language. It tackles hard, real life situations like suicide and mental health and sexual assault, but it’s not too strong in those areas


#7

I’d love a review!
Here’s my story:
Name: Girl of Deception
Author: IDONTKNOW
Genre: Adventure
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5855942598328320
Description: Aria Lamar has is all. She’s rich, beautiful and smart. But she’s a selfish arrogant jerk. Little does she know that’s all about to change. CC and Choices matter, two endings.
How many episodes: If it’s possible can you read 5 episodes? I know that’s a lot to ask for, but I never had someone review that much of my story and it would help a lot. If not 2 or 3 is totally fine!

Thank you for taking the time to do this :heart:


#8

Story Title: Music in our hearts
Author: Mary-P
Link:


Light Summary:
You’re a straight A student with a passion for art but don’t have any talent. When a mysterious voice leads you to 3 Muses of the Mythology, magic offers you a new perspective.

Episode : All 3 please. I think you might like it.


#9

Overall, the concept and plot points are great. But I read for a long time, and Dante still hasn’t woken up beautiful yet. The story should move along faster. Other then that, I loved the comedy aspect of the story! Here are my nitpick-y requests:

During the scene where Roy takes Dante’s track clothes, Roy says “I have bit of problem.” The proper sentence would be “I have a bit of a problem."

When Dante starts crying in what looks to be a parking lot, maybe Roy should mention the fact that Dante is crying and make fun of him? I feel like a bully would do that.

You mention the weight but not height of Dante. He is shorter then almost every other character.

Maybe the coach should be supportive of his weight loss other then punishing him. I don’t think a teacher would act like that.

When Roy punches Dante on the track, he punches past him, and Dante’s reaction is off.

When Dante’s Mom slaps Roy, she slaps behind him. Just in case you’re not sure how to fix that, move her to a different layer. If you have any questions about that, refer to the Writer’s Portal.

Dante’s reaction to his Mom hugging him is off timed.

Dante’s Mom says “Before it leaves without you”. Instead of “it”, maybe say “Before the train leaves without you.”

Instead of Lucy walking backwards you could cut to her standing there, then Alex walking between them.

I would keep Dante from saying anything funny about his bullying. That way, the readers feel bad for his character faster. And that’s the kind of reaction you want, I’m guessing.

4 stars, though!


#10

That sounds very interesting! Thanks :heart:


#11

when will it be done?


#12

I’m not sure. I should get back to you within 48 hours.


#13

I will try my best! The story sounds great.


#14

I’m excited to read this! I’ll get back to you soon.


#15

Hi there! I saw your thread pop up and I was wondering if you’d be willing to read what I have so far of my unpublished story? It’s only around the first 12 minutes of what I’ve got prepared for the first episode though, so it’s not terribly short :sweat_smile:


#16

Of course!


#17

Thank you so much for doing this!
Take all the time you need and please be as honest as you can :sparkling_heart:

Name: Providence
Author: A.D. Summers
Genre: Fantasy Adventure
Number of episodes: 1 (ignore the second I was messing around with something lol)
Description: “Why does God even deal with us?” I never thought I’d know his answer, until I returned to that mysterious town. After all, Providence is a greater mystery than Revelation. Limited CC (??? still debating)
Link:


Cover:


#18

I’ll get on that soon!


#19

Thank you!!!


#20

Okay, I have my nitpick list, but before I post it, I just want to let you know a big problem I notice with the story. The family (Liam, Jason, and Lola) are bad people. For one, Jason, right off the bat, buys girls! That’s horrible! And I feel like the story is going to eventually try to make you warm up to him. I feel like that’s disrespectful in some way. Then there’s Lola. There is a choice that asks you if you trust her. I feel like the reader can’t, as long as she lives with her brothers (who buy girls!!!) without batting an eye. And Liam, got mad at Jason when he told him that he didn’t buy anyone that day! I just feel like there are so many other directions the story could go. Let me know if I’m wrong…