Give your feedback on my story?

Hi! My name is Sandra and I recently published my first story. I was hoping if anyone would be able to read and give me their feedback? I would really appreciate it.
Story Title: The Boys Next Door
Author: Sandra!!
Genre: Drama
Style: Ink
Description: When Emily’s boyfriend cheats on her, she’s convinced she’ll never be able to love again. That is until she meets her new neighbors…


I’ll give you feedback when I’m done reading it if that’s okay?

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That would be great, thank you!!

Okay so I read episode one (because I’m out of passes so I can’t read more)
And from the description I honestly thought it was going to Be very cliche but from episode one it didn’t seem like it.


  • I really liked your use of overlays.
  • I like the difference between the two LI’s
  • The friend seems very supportive, protective and funny at the same time.
  • I like your zooms and directing.
  • I liked the way the characters had their own unique personalities


  • When The MC and her ex boyfriend were sleeping in the bed then MC popped on as it zoomed on her
  • You introduced the friend and MC but it wasn’t short and sweet so it wasn’t too bad but try to show not tell.
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I’ve tried to fix that issue in that scene but I unfortunately haven’t been able to.
Thank you for your feedback, I’ll make sure to keep in mind your tip about introductions.

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