Giving Feedback On Your Stories!

Hey, writer’s! So, I am a writer myself here on Episode, and I am currently in the process of writing my first story. Anyways, I just thought it would be fun and interesting to read some of you guys’ stories, and give my completely brutally honest opinion on directing, dialog, plot etc. If you’re interested in some feedback on your story, just comment your story’s title down below, and I’ll read the first 1 - 3 chapters, evaluate it, and respond to you with my honest opinion! Remember, this is only constructive criticism.

3 Likes

I would love to!

Genre: Adventure/Fantasy/Comedy (If that makes sense)
Title: Save Me, Hero!
Author: Turtle Cat!
Plot/Summary: After powerless Hero moves from a town where everyone has superpowers, she gets kidnapped by a group of fugitives who are forcing her to join them. What will she do?
Style: Ink
This story has 4 episodes
Cover:

HERE’S THE LINK!

2 Likes

Always looking for improvement.

There is no sound. The selection sucks.

Title: Oblivious
Genre: Comedy
INK
Episodes: 10 (on-going)
Description: When socially awkward Leanna catches the eye of equally awkward Kai things can’t get more awkward, can they?
IMG_20190124_124926_910

1 Like

Genre: Romance drama
Title: Trust the love
Author: miss-libra
Plot/Summary:
Style: Ink


This story has **22 episode and more comingimage

2 Likes

I’ll be reading the first chapter of this story right now!

1 Like

I Just Read The First Chapter Of Your Story “Save Me, Hero,” & These Are My Thoughts:

Plot: From the episode that I read, which was the first one, I didn’t get much of an idea of what the story was about. There were a couple of flashbacks, which was cool, but I would’ve liked to see a little bit more depth to it. There might be more of an explanation of the plot in existing or upcoming episodes, but I can only judge from what I’ve read.

Directing: The directing was neither impressing or bad. It was standard, in my opinion. To me, it seemed like there wasn’t, put very much dedication or time spent on the spot directing, animations or zooms. The music would change way too frequently. And a little tip for transitions would be to make a: @transition fade in black 2 (example) at the start of your scenes of course, but also a: @transition fade out black 2 (example) at the end of your scenes, so in that way it looks like a smooth transition, instead of one sudden transition fading in, without one matching to fade out (vice versa as well.) But don’t worry, I see that “mistake” in tons of stories! I noticed there wasn’t very much effort put into the background characters. Most of them were the pre-made one’s made by the Episode team. I would’ve liked to see more diversity & effort put into that. I would advice you to watch directing videos on YouTube, read the guidelines, and practice, so you can improve your directing.

Grammar: I think the grammar, overall, was okay. I noticed a couple of mistakes here & there, but it wasn’t anything too noticeable. But of course, there is always room for improvement!

Length Of Chapter: The chapter was standard in terms of length, in my opinion. It wasn’t super long or super short. I would say that the length of it was fine, but I personally like for chapters (especially the first episode) to be a bit longer. That’s just my preference.

Characters: I didn’t feel any sort of attachment to any of the characters from this episode. I would’ve liked to have gotten more of a clear idea of who Hero is as a human being. Is she awkward, confident, kind, rude, smart, unintelligent? Like, WHO is she? I hope you know what I mean.

Final Thoughts: The overall episode to me wasn’t great or bad. Just because of the lack of drama, plot twists, cliffhangers, and storyline, I probably wouldn’t read the next episode of this story. As I said, there might be a lot more action, drama, plot twists etc. in upcoming episodes that I haven’t read, but this is why the first episode of a story, is very important. It’s because it’s the first impression you get from a story, and will make you interested in reading more. Practice, practice, practice. That’s the advice I mostly want to give you. Keep doing your thing, because I believe that you can do better and improve. Good luck!

2 Likes

Tittle: MC: The Bar on 23rd
Author: Dr.smile


Oh, and thank you so much <3.

2 Likes

Hey, I’d love it if you could review my story!

Title Love’s a Game
Author B.Carlton
Plot After a devestating breakup, you sign up for America’s biggest dating show - Love’s a Game. How will you navigate your newfound on-screen life?
epsiodes 6 (7 will be released today or tommorow)
cover


3 Likes

Hi, I would appreciate some feedback, thank you :black_heart:


Title: MC: All These Notes
Author: TessS
Style: INK
Chapters: 3
Description: You are wild, fierce and wonderfully chaotic. You are beautiful in a way a fire is beautiful. Only a fool wouldn’t love you. And I am no fool. Male MC, Choices matter
Ben’s life is turned upside down when he meets a mystery woman. What will he do to find her and keep her? :blush:
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4699891109527552

1 Like

This is so nice of you! :grin::sparkling_heart:

Title: Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane
Author: Marshmallow O.
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy
Summary: Time is running out as you and your friends try to escape the mysterious sleepover that you were invited to… Read to uncover the Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane.
Chapters: 3 (More to come)
Style: Limelight

Create your own characters and Choices Matter!:blush:

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6250660385652736
Shortened Link: https://bit.ly/2FHhOMS

1 Like

Feel free to check out my story.

My story: © Tribe of Malapinchi
Author: Jannah Jackson
Genre: Thriller/Mystery/Horror/Fantasy/Adventure
Story style: Secret Surprise :wink:
Description: Toss into a land of the sun, magic, lies and dark secrets in Asia. Can you make sense of the havoc you were tossed into and save everyone before it’s too late? CharacterCustomization
Episodes: 5/6
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5909308359180288

1 Like

My Opinion On Your Story “Love & Grief.”

Plot: It was cool that I got a bit of an idea of the plot from the first episode. But, since this first episode was pretty much based on flashbacks & storytelling, I would’ve liked to have seen & heard more of the plot, personally.

Directing: The directing was a bit underwhelming. I noticed that in the cheerleading scene, after Ash did an animation, the girls behind her would do the same animations one-by-one afterwards, instead of doing it at the same time. It looked a little silly. There wasn’t much paid much attention into the directing. That’s the impression that I get. I also would have liked sounds and music, because it just makes a story a thousand times better, to me. I would advice you to seriously practice your directing, so it will look a little bit more detailed & smooth. You can do that by watching YouTube videos (Joseph Evans & Episode EllyYT in particular), reading the guidelines, and just practicing in general!

Grammar: The grammar was alright. There was some sentences that could have used some more commas. But overall, there wasn’t any major grammar errors, as a far as I’m concerned.

Length Of Chapter: The chapter was a little too short for my personal liking. It ended very suddenly in a sort of weird place. It felt like you tried to make a cliffhanger (which is good), but it just didn’t work, and ended up being a little awkward.

Characters: I’m sure we’ll get to see more of the characters’ personalities and traits in later episodes, but I can only speak from what I’ve read so far. It didn’t feel any connection with any of the characters. I would’ve liked a little bit more depth, in that department.

Final Thoughts: I do like that you chose to do something with mental health disorders, since it’s a very common thing in human nature. I’ll give you probs for that! I wasn’t necessarily intrigued or captivated by this story or the plot. The episode was pretty standard, and didn’t do much of a strong impression on me. But again, this is JUST constructive criticism to help you all get better.

Hi!
How nice of you to do this! Thank you :slight_smile:

Essentia
Fantasy
No. Of Episodes 12
Description:
When a powerful young couple steals the Kings most
Prized possession, it starts a chain reaction that will bring their world to its knees.

1 Like

I would love it if you could read mine and gove feedback!!!

Story: The Princess Of Fiore
Author: inkkee
Style: INK
Genre: Romance
Description: A story of an 18 year old princess whose life got turned around on the night of her 18th birthday. What exactly happened on that fateful night? And what will happen after she falls in love with a non royal boy?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6074505541582848

1 Like

My Opinion On Your Story “Oblivious.”

Plot: I didn’t get much of an idea of what the story was about. So, I don’t really have much to say, other than I would’ve loved to have seen more storyline…

Directing: The directing was pretty basic for a beginner. I didn’t notice any huge errors, which is good, but the directing was a little bit… boring? If that makes sense. I would like to have seen more effort & detail put into it!

Grammar: The grammar was pretty good! There wasn’t any major mistakes. Though, the conversations the characters had with each other, were a little average & a little boring.

Length Of Chapter: It was pretty short. And I’ve said a couple of times now, I do prefer good & longer episodes. It is a personal preference, so everyone might not agree with that, but this is just my opinion.

Characters: I think the whole idea of Leanna & Kai being socially awkward is interesting & different. So, probs to you for showing some diversity, when most authors make their episode boys into “bad boys…”

Final Thoughts: I have to be completely honest & say that this episode was boring. That sounds a bit harsh, but there wasn’t much interesting content in it. No cliffhangers, plot twists, exciting conversations or anything like that. The first episode (especially) of a story is so important, since it’s people’s first impression of it, and they’ll either be interested in reading more, or bored so they’ll just read something else & forget about it. So, practice making the episodes a little bit more “interesting.” Keep practicing & writing, though!

My Bad Boy Love (Limelight + MC CC + no gems choices)

I’m sure it’s gonna be great Good luck!

Genre: Drama
Title: Manhattan girl
Author: Stev1997
Plot/Summary: Being an exchange in New York should be easy, right? Nah, think again.
Style: Ink

I’ve got a new story comming out in June I would love to hear what your thoughts are on it so far http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4565622422306816 say your mine

Title: What Was Missing
Genre: Romance / Slice of Life
Author: Foxx
Plot/Summary: Reason and his best friend, Light, have fallen into a rut of doing the same things every day. Fallon moves in next door and introduces a new perspective on their daily lives, though making waves in the process. The more time he spends with this mysterious, quirky character, the more difficult he finds it to keep their friendship platonic.
Style: Ink