Handling emotions and feelings



Since there are a lot of females using this forum I would like to ask you a question. It’s so basic that it might sound like a poor joke, but for me it’s not. How do you cope with feelings?

The thing is that I spent my teenage years trying to get rid of everything in me that in whatsoever way is linked with emotions so that I could focus on mental improvement and also get rid of things like pain. Did not work as planned, but what is important about it is that I did not learn how to work on and with my feelings since I simply tried to ignore them and rot them out. So I am still rather helpless in emotional situations.

I know that music can help. Any other suggestions?

Do you ever feel extremely lonely?

I think. I think I cope with my feelings by basically getting mad. Where I live, there is a ton of alleys. So I just go in the alleys and smash glass bottles on the ground. It’s very good.


Well for me, I don’t really feel any emotions. Everyone might not believe me but it’s very rarely when I actually, care. Yeah sometimes I get mad or upset or a little happy but it’s a very momentarily thing. After a little bit I will go back into careless mode. I will act like I am feeling happy but really I feel nothing, and not in that sad or bad way. But when I do feel something like sad or something or feel something in my stomach I kind of shoo it away. But sometimes I get jealous since I like a guy but I act like I am not. I just shoo the feeling away and I stop thinking about it and go back into careless mode. Or I write my heart out.


I just write to be honest, sometimes my feelings make my stomach go all funny like im running a race or like im on a coach and im about to vomit. or you can just lie on your bed and sleep or look at the ceiling.


I am not the destructive kind, and I lack the energy to get really mad. But thx 4 your reply.


That is what I try to be, but now and then some feelings just break through. Have you always just been this way?
I used to write, but I kind of channeled the feelings of others. It’s difficult for me to address my own feelings, it’s like putting a hand into a clogged toilet for me, pardon the comparison. :poop:


I talk to my cat an hug him :blush::heart:

It helps me tons :cat::heart_decoration:


I sleep enough, but this alone does not help much. And I have a very sensitive stomach myself, I know what you mean. :nauseated_face::innocent:


Sadly I am extremly allergic to cats… We had dogs, I liked them and they helped me facing and dealing with emotions indeed. But I cannot take care of a pet on my own since I am chronically sick, so that is not an option right now.


I have been this way ever since I was seven. I’ve been through a lot. Grew up at age 7. Thrown into counseling for whole cos of me being so mature at such a young age, I’ve been numbed, but I don’t think it as a bad thing. It helps me if something big happens, I can handle it way better than anyone else going through it cos I’ve learned to be careless and happy and strong when I was very young. So I don’t know how to explain it.


I guess I am able to understand since I have been into psychology all my life. :wink: So you did not plan to become this kind of a person, but life formed you. But in your profile you call yourself a tsundere, how does this fit in? Just curious.


I didn’t really plan to become any person. I am kind of a rude person to people I don’t really know and I am cold cos I don’t really know what nice means until I warm up to people. I hide most of my feelings especially when I finally start to feel something, I don’t really want to show it to anyone unless I am really close to them. I shut most people out cos Im afraid of feeling something. Over their friendship or start to like them so I close them out to avoid all of that, cos I don’t really like caring. I feel guilty when I do.


I don’t really feel anything, okay sometimes I get mad and I mean really mad I don’t know where it comes from because I have a great life and everything, sometimes I just get mad from a moment to another. Then I mostly going for a walk and just talk with myself (that sounds crazy I know, but it actually helps me a lot,) but it also helps to run or to jump on plastic bottles.


I get the part where you try to protect both yourself and others from being hurt, all too well actually, but why guilty, you do nothing wrong when you care, or is it because you feel like failing your own principles? I was 8 when I started my later very complex network of ideals and rules, I call it my golden cage.


If your life is good, then why do you not feel happy? Just wondering. Sudden outbreaks of aggression could signal that you swallow too much emotions into you, maybe on a subconscious level. Only thinking loud. :wink:


Yes it does feel like I am. I am so used to not caring and it feels weird to care. I don’t want to feel happy for anyone, that’s why I shut people out. That’s why I hurt people so they back off of me. That’s why I can be such a mean person to the people I love, because I don’t want them to see that I care and that I don’t need them. I mean, I feel like I would be better off alone, NOT in a sad why.


Sounds a bit like the bad girl/boy in the Episode story “It started with a bra”, which is the only one I read so far. :sweat_smile: I always avoided sexual relationships, but would not have random sex either, so I am still a virgin at the age of 38… But that is a different story, but you could end up like an old cat lady if you cut yourself off of life.


I don’t and WONT cut myself off of life! I am a very sporty person, I love writing, I love drawing and I have so many friends and I have my life mapped out! I love my life very much and God but I feel like I’m way too mature for my age and friends since I am a very matured girl and I am just EXTREMELY introverted and cold but I can be nice at times. My dad even told me my next birthday is practically going to be a sweet sixteen :sweat_smile:


yeah that makes sense, I mostly roll eyes at people who shout at me making fun of me, I am not really listening to them. And I am happy, but mostly I just do things without feeling anything, I just feel neutral.


Same with the neutral