MS Kate sounds like a good name for a ship, but I guess it’s too early to ship you. But I remember that you love bubble gum, so I better do not burst your bubble…
But seriously, social interaction might help, depends on it, sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to express what you mean, same with writing. Music is a healer, but I have been depressive for so long that sometimes it just will not touch me. Strange how you can be so over- sensitive and yet so numb at a time, but my numbness is not relaxing like standing in the center of a tornado, it’s more like being unable to do anything about your situation, chained and tortured.
I know I’m not the only one. Today I felweird and lately I’ve been feeling really weird . Today was overwhelming . I was with my classmates and we were talking about things and suddenly I felt very bad and lonely. (N I’m not in my period) and I wanted to cry all of a n . I couldn’t breath. It was terrible . Does this happen to you too?
Well… I feel lonely 24/7 all day, everyday even though I have many people with me and have many friends and people that I’m around that love me I just feel alone… Completely shut out from the world. But I like it
Well basically I grew up at the age 7 and realized a lot of things about life. I’ve even had to been thrown in counseling for two years cos my parents didn’t know what do to with a child more mature than a teenager. Sometimes I hate it, where I feel like being alone sucks @$$. But I’m usually in that careless mode. My past completely numbed me from that. Losing so much, losing a best friend to cancer, losing family to death. Being sexually harassed at a young age, I learned a lot when I was younger and it so happened that I was able to understand and fill my mind with all tis knowledge at such a young age. I basically realized a lot of things by being alone and all the great aspects and all the pros and I feel like an adult. I act like one, sometimes I act stupid with my friends. But I am a very old soul. A 20 year old trapped in a 13 year old body. Way too mature for my age. And I get a lot of people who tell me that so I guess it’s true. I don’t know, I just understand more than most teens do and I get way more because of my experience. So that’s why I get emails from my classmates asking for help cos they know how matured I am and they know I can help. And I absolutely love helping people out who feel sad and depressed and want to hurt themself, because I have been through self harm, I’ve almost killed myself twice which I am NOT proud of and I promised myself not to do it ever again and I won’t and I just want to help others in anyway I can even if I don’t feel or get anything out of it.
Lost my brother, lost my cousin 5 years ago, lost 5 friends 2 moths ago, lost so many friends a month ago, lost someone I cared about so much this week, almost lost my little sister in surgery , almost lost my dad due to low blood pressure
And about 4 months ago I was sexually harassed but nothing ever happened since my parents thought it wasn’t and I still have to live by him so I mainly just shut everyone out and stay inside and be alone
Sometimes I just wanna die, I been going to depression for 4 years now this year will be 5 so I’m used to all this, I almost killed myself about 10 times, since I can’t kill myself I just start cutting but I stopped 3 months ago and now I’m back to my old habits