Harsh review on your story! [CLOSED TO CATCH UP]

EPISODE CRITICER

Since we’re all quarantined and bored, I’ve decided to review your guy’s story. I just wanted to make it clear from the getgo that I’ll be very harsh (Unless you tell me to go a little easier, then I’ll try lol.)

Rules:

  • I’ll read the first chapter. I’ll give you my first impressions of the story (cover and description) and I’ll give you any errors that are in the story. I’ll try not to go too hard on grammar unless there’s an enourmous reccouring issue.
  • I’ll also give feedback on the directing. As an author myself, I know how hard it can be to code so I’ll try to be a little lenient on it :).

LAYOUT:

  • Story Name
  • Description
  • Story Type (Classic/Ink/Limelight)
  • Genre
  • Cover
  • Any other information

**JUST REMEMBER THAT THIS CRITICISM IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD AND YOUR OWN STORY. THE HARSHER THE BETTER. THIS DOESN’T NECESSARILY MEAN THAT YOUR STORY IS SH*T, IT JUST MEANS THAT YOU NEED SOME WORK ON CERTAIN ASPECTS :slight_smile: **

6 Likes

Hi @SusuJuju :raising_hand_woman:

Well that’s nice of you to keep it this way, kidda straightforward, well here’s my story go as harsh as you want but I’m gonna tell you one thing that English is not my first language so that’s the week point of my story… but I tried my best :blue_heart:

Title: I married my troublemaker (ll)
Author name: Miss Deepika
Style: Limelight
Episode: 15 so far
Description: Fixed marriage with a person who brings trouble in your life, will this marriage turned out to be a success or big misery in your life. (update every friday)
{Art scenes}
Review Info: Whatever you prefer most , anyway is fine by me.
Genre: Drama
Ig: @orangeweedie.episode

English is not my first language so kindly bear my small mistakes :heart:


I_married_My_Troublemaker_limelight_posterImage_KPu7T6Ma04

Hi! I’d love a review of my story!

  • Story Name - Magicka: Serpentine

  • Description - Bound to the soul of a Mortal in a realm with little magic, This snake just wants his freedom.
    But how far will he go to break the curse that is protecting him from his fate?

  • Story Type (Classic/Ink/Limelight)

  • Genre - Fantasy

  • Cover

  • Any other information - Male MC. There is CC but that’s only in Episode 2 and you can’t customise the Main Character due to art scenes and Custom overlays in later episode :slight_smile:

Thank you for doing this :hugs::heart:
So here is my story:
Story Name Master of elements
Description: Will you and your friends able to save the world from darkness as you uncover secrets back 500 years ago ? (Time choices points system, adventure, fantasy, mystery and action)
Story style: Limelight
Genre: Fantasy
Cover :


Any other information Mc customisation is there but you can’t customise hair color and eye color because of story plot :grin:

I like harsh reviews! Here’s my sh*t story! The shittiest story on the platform! I’ll give you a head start. It starts with a love cliche. THAT’S A BIG NO NO! Then the directing, don’t get me started. Way too many messages at the beginning. JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY! Don’t write anything good, only bad!
Now you continue :kissing_heart:

Title: Second Chance

Description:
A story inspired by mental health. When tragedy unfolds, only your loved ones can help you. But what if these loved ones harbour dark secrets of lies and deceit? Who can you trust?

Style: LL

Genre: Drama

image

Other:
Link:

Sure thank you! Btw, I love your username!

Story Name: © :sunny: Tribe of Malapinchi (Original) ☽
Story Description:
Tales of the Old Asians warned that WW2 scars still plagued the exotic-cursed tribe in the mythical land within the Pacific Ring of Fire at East South East Asia. The land of Sun, light & black magic, lies and dark secrets. Can you survive, solve the havoc, cleanse and heal, save and free everyone before it’s too late? Or die in vain?
FullCC/Choices Matter/MiniGames/Tappables

Summary:
~ An Asian fantasy-reality story of humanity, freedom and hope, aftermaths and consequences, test and trials, past, present and future, light and darkness, discovering oneself, friendships and kinships, leadership and truth. ~

Story Type: Um, everything lol
Genre: Realistic-Fantasy/Mystery/ Adventure/Thriller/Horror
Cover (With symbolic meanings of the cover inside the story too)

Any other information:

<> A story inspired from various real Asian tribes ranging from West to Southeast Asia (mainly traditional Asians)
<> Readers who are attentive to intricate details
<> Not a simple, easy and light read nor for the faint-hearted
<> Preferably 18 above and with reasonable IQ to appreciate the story
<> Inclusion and diversity and multiple real-life issues addressed.
<> To anyone who enjoys the fantasy, mystery, thriller and horror genres blended with real-life experiences and scenarios around the world .
<> Chapters are generally slightly longer than most episode stories due to the nature of the plot.(15 to 30 mins but maybe less depending on your pace).

Of course, I’ll get right to it!

1 Like

Thanks for doing this! I’d be happy, if you could give me feedback on/review my story:

  • Story Name: Loving a Liar
  • Description: Angel Riley: Evil, unkind, and no interest in other people’s feelings. What changed her? And can love reverse this change? [Choices Matter; CC]
  • Story Type: Limelight
  • Genre: Romance/Mystery
  • Cover:
  • Any other information: The structure of the story is seasonal (the planned three seasons, are specifically related to different parts of the story)
    CC, only without the eye color change of the MC

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4604552926789632

Alright let’s begin.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Looks professional enough and the cover and description looks good. The description is not too vague but doesn’t give anything away in particular.

Chapter 1

Right off the getgo I can tell that you actually spent a decent amount of time on this story. You actually had time to create your own avatar and crreate your own personality from it which is a detail I enjoyed.
Okay ths one is more of a personal one but there are just too many music/sounds playing and it can become quite overwhelming. I found myself listening to a “junglesong” while I was choosing my outfit and fr I couldn’t take it seriously.
SCENE IN CAFETERIA: Amy is seen running on the spot for a few seconds before running offset. This looks unprofessional and doesn’t flow well.
MEAN GIRL CONFRONTATION: When the mean girls confront Amy for bumping into them, Amy is facing the complete opposite direction for the entire conversation which defies this whole scene.
ENDING: The ending was so spontaneous and there was no cliffhanger whatsover. It was just as if you had accidently ended it without meaning to.

OVERALL: I’m not gonna lie, the ending was a big disappointment and the episode as a whole was very short. I think my main point from this is to get to the point faster. I understand that the first episode is a pilot episode but there was no point in that episode because we didn’t learn anything significant in that episode, except the fact that she LOVES NOEL SO MUCH.

I think it was decent, especially since your first language isn’t English I struggled to find any grammatical errors and there wasn’t a huge problem with the story, but it just wasn’t really my cup of tea.
Despite all of that, if you make the chapter a little longer, include necassary facts and tweak the directing a little I’m sure it’ll be amazing!

1 Like

Thank you for reviewing…:heart: my story, I’ll definitely correct my mistakes and follow your advice… :wink:

1 Like

Looks good!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Okay I’m genuiely really intrigued. I’ve never been a fan of fantasy stories but the description definitely draws me in. The cover also looks good. Tbh there isn’t much to say other than I’m intrested!

Chapter 1

Right off the back I can see that this is extremely professionally made. The story flows well and the uses of overlays is amazing.
The characters are realistic and the dialogue is also extremely realistic too. The fact that the little boy had a sense of “guilty pleasure” when he looks back and says “i hope no one saw me do that” makes him a relatable character.
That cliffhanger tho lol.
The scar on Felix’s neck reminds me of Sasuke’s scar in Naruto, it’s literally identical!
The mini bottle game was pretty cool!
[OKAY STOP ME IF IM WRONG BUT THE SNAKES NAME IS FAUST AND THAT’S EXACTLY THE SAME NAME AS THE SNAKE IN “THE ARCANA” OOF].
sis i already love Faust, they’re so cuteeee omds.

OVERALL: Damnnn this story is one word: under-fucking-rated!. The directing was amazing and the story wasn’t too confusing. I’m not going to lie, it took me quite a while to realise that Faust was pretending to be a man (lol i’m abit slow), but fr i genuienly don’t have any constructive critism, it was really good. i think the only reason why i didn’t fully enjoy it was because i’m just genuienly not a “fantasy” type of person. i think you took a lot of inspo from “The Arcana” correct me if I’m wrong, but i got a lot of “The Arcana” vibes with “Faust” and the “Tarot Deck”.

Overall, it’s amazing and you should be more than proud. Im so upset that this story doesn’t have as much views as it deserves.

2 Likes

Hey just like you said you only read first episode, so in episode 1 there’s no scene of cafeteria in my story @SusuJuju I’m confused… :persevere:

And in this episode there’s only one time bumping… I check it twice there’s no error in here… She faces lola whole time.

Summary

Hey! Here is my story. Please be brutally honest!! (Little note, I am going back and changing some things right now, so it may suck haha)

Feel free to leave feedback on the forum, or DM me on instagram @bmc._.artz

Story Information

❀ Title: The Flame Between Us

❀ Genre: Drama/romance

❀ Episodes: 5 so far (more on the way).

❀ Style: LL

❀ CC: Unfortunately, not :(. The character details correspond with the story line so unfortunately the two mc’s are NOT customizable. However, there is a chance to customize yourself later on.

❀ Short Summary: As young teenagers, Ellen and Andrew are inseparable. They’ve been with each other through thick and thin. Andrew is a rebellious kid and Ellen is a golden girl. One day his parents are sick of his actions and send him to boarding school. Ellen is devastated and wants to be with him. So she becomes rebellious too, and she tries everything to go to boarding school with him. After numerous attempts, Ellen gets sent to boarding school, halfway across the country, leaving her memories and feelings for Andrew behind. After a couple years, Ellen returns to her old school. There she is reunited with Andrew and she learns to be a better person. Ellen tries to win Andrew’s heart back, facing many obstacles. Can she win back his heart like she once did? Or will someone else sweep her off her feet in the process.

❀ Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5005532319514624

❀ Cover:

image image

Once again, thank you so much for this opportunity, and thank you for giving my story a read if you decide to. (Sorry if it’s bad and REALLY cliche.)

Let’s get right on this!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: The cover looks pretty good, sounds intriguing and the decription draws me in.

Chapter 1

Right off the bat I’m getting Avatar: The Last Airbender vibes, which is a cartoon I love with my whole heart so yh, the beginning is amazing for me.
I like the sibling rivalry between the MC and her brother, seems realistic enough.
Hahahaa, Priya having a ccrush on MCs brother and him running away is just such a mood, Im dyinggg.
I don’t think I found any directing errors.

OVERALL: It’s definitely a good story, it just didn’t appeal to me, maybe because it was too much fantasy and I’m not really into that. I think one thing you can do to make it better is to set the scene up by starting when the friends are in trouble and then taking the audience to the present time. It’s definitely a preference of mine but I’m really tempted to click off something when I don’t understand what’s going on in the first 5 minutes which is what happened here. There were the elements and everything, but there wasn’t really anything setting the scene.

Once again, this story is really good and you should definitely be proud. I didn’t find any directing mistakes but because of my taste and preferances I wasn’t really my cup of tea.

1 Like

sis omg my dumbass clicked on the ink one. omds that makes sense. i’m so sorry, i’ll read the limelight one now :sob:

1 Like

Yeah I really got shook off from your comment when you said it is short because it has 1700 lines in limelight :persevere: and Normal episode has 1000 lines, yeah don’t worry it happens.:joy: And don’t worry you may read the limelight version whenever you want :wink:

Thank you so much for this lovely feedback and review :hugs::heart: and no problem I still learning how to make story better because it is my first story :grin:, and thank you for advise :hugs: I m thinking about that same to add some new scenes before story started :heart::heart::heart:

1 Like

Yeah! I’m a massive fan of the Arcana so It’s definitely inspired by that as well as some other Myths and Legends I’ve been reading up on.

Thank you for the review and no worries if you didn’t fully enjoy it! Everyone has different tastes when it comes to reading :smile:

Please review my storyy

  • Story Name Babysitting the Jenkins
  • Description
    You need money and babysitting at this wealthy family is the only option. Entitled kids are suddenly soft when someone is trying to attack this family included you.
  • Story Type (Classic/Ink/Limelight) ----->ink
  • Genre mystery
  • Cover
  • Any other information I also want to know your opinion about the story progression like, is it too long? Are there any glitch or music glitch?

My Story!

Title: A New World
Author: Darcy
Description: Amanda had rough times in her life due to her anxiety and depression. She tries to find out who she really is and free herself from the negativity with a little help from a friend.
Genre: Adventure
Style: Limelight
Chapters: 4 (more are coming soon)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5539232931446784
Instagram: @darcy.nudi_episode

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