Have you ever had a 'not like other girls' phase?

For those who don’t know what this means: Girls with internalized misogyny, who try to steer away from femininity as much as possible, because that makes them “girly” or “weak”. Will put down feminine girls to impress men. (from Urban Dictionary).
For those who went through this, what was it like? How did you get through it?

  • Yes, when I was below the age of 10
  • Yes, when I was 10-12
  • Yes, when I was 13-14
  • Yes, when I was 15-18
  • Yes, above the age of 18
  • No

0 voters


I did briefly around the 13/14 mark. I think it’s because everyone was already starting to wear makeup at this point and I was still hopeless with all that stuff lol. I thought I was cool cos I played things like video games and prided myself on being a fast runner. But eventually I realised I loved dresses and dolls were always my childhood go-to toys to play with, so it was pretty hypocritical for me to call these girls “too feminine.”

I think the way to get over it is to see that’s it’s alright to like both masculine and feminine stuff and to not care either way what yourself or other people prefer. People like what they like, and that’s ok :woman_shrugging:

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At first, I thought it meant having different interests than your peers, which I did throughout high school, but then I went back and read the description, and no… I’ve always been very girly and into makeup and pretty clothes, so I guess not.

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My phase was at around 14. Although, I did not experience it in the same way that your definition describes. I did not put down other women for being feminine, however I did try to embody a “unique persona” in an attempt to stand out from other women my age. I had been invisible by most standards, so I began to do my makeup in a Sky Ferreira inspired way (dark eyeshadow under the eyes), and would read adult books in front of my peers, such as The Lovely Bones. I would also attempt to dress like Elena Gilbert from The Vampire Diaries. I’m experiencing secondhand embarrassment (or would it be firsthand in this case) just typing this! I also began exploring virtually unheard of movies, which at the time included Jennifer’s Body. I still love that movie to this day, so I have definitely retained some of the things I picked up during that time.

EDIT: I am 22 years-old now, so a lot has changed since then!

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I don’t think I have. It’s true that I am a little different from other girls my age (always have). It’s true that I don’t like make-up, very girly outfits, etc., but it’s not because I necessarily want to be “quirky” or “not like other girls” :relaxed:


Probably around 10-14 (I’m 15 now). Honestly, I blame Disney. I picked up on a lot undertones.

I remember mentally praising the MCs who were nerdy, rode a motorcycle, wore dirty converse with their prom dresses, etc. I found cheerleaders to be bratty and less than other girls. Kinda seemed like a trend with Disney movies.

I’ve only recently started watching videos about the toxicity of that mindset and realized how much internalized misogyny I’ve had.

I’m just thankful I never voiced these opinions out loud. (No need to add to the embarrassing memories I already have of myself).

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I had mine when I started reading fanfictions (so around 14-15 years old) and I mean, if you’ve ever read fanfictions you’ll know about those protagonists who are nerdy, do well in school, don’t do makeup, etc. And since I happened to find myself in a lot of those traits (I wasn’t good makeup, was a bookworm, did fairly well in school) I also put on the “not like other girls” lenses and everywhere I looked, girls were nothing but frivolous and spoiled.

God that was embarrassing. Good thing I’m well past my teenage years.


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