Hi there! I read the first chapter of your story and here’s my feedback.
- There were multiple instances where the main character was talking at the same time another character was supposed to be talking.
Here’s an example with the phone scene:
In this example, I would suggest using phone idle animations (listen_phone_angry_loop, listen_phone_confused, listen_phone_excited_loop, ect.) when the other character is speaking on the phone.
- I also noticed you’re missing a few periods at the end of your sentences.
- You should consider resizing and re-positioning your speech bubbles.
The plot sounds interesting though! I really feel bad for Ama, and her boyfriend is a huge jerk for leaving her high and dry like that.
Anyways, I wish you the very best!