Helene Reviews | Beautiful Broken Lies by @hannah & carly


#1

Continuing the discussion from Helene Reviews | Free Honest Episode Story Reviews:

Review: Beautiful Broken Lies by @harly_episode

What I like:

  • The Dialogue
    “You look so tired that even your tiredness looks tired.” Haha, that’s funny.

  • Spot Directing
    When Elena and Lydia arrived the high school, the spot directing was well done with the students.

  • Point System
    I noticed the +1 when interacting with Jake, I appreciate it when stories use the point system.

  • Decent Length
    The episode isn’t too long, nor was it too short. You know exactly how to divide your story into chapters.

You might want to look into:

  • The title reference
    I don’t see much of what beautiful broken lies will be told or what the characters will encounter. This is hard for readers to remember the story name when there is no context about it.

Additional comments:

Damn Elena has a temper… the mom is just being nice and breakfast is really important, but I mean, teenagers. Overall I liked the story and I might continue reading it.

Good luck and happy writing! xx


#2

Thank you so much!! I’m so happy you enjoyed it :blush: the title will definitely make more sense later on in the story xx


#3