Continuing the discussion from Helene Reviews | Free Honest Episode Story Reviews:
Review: Music in Our Hearts by @Mary-P
What I like:
Love the humour in the opening (as well as throughout the story). Something many of us can all relate to. My mom always tell me I’m wasting my time as well omg… I should really start listening.
The advice “Try to find who you are on your way”, “Why not believe in yourself?". I think I should do that too, we all need a reality check.
The music & background noise in the story is incorporated in very well (I mean duh this whole story is about music)
The episode isn’t too long, nor was it too short. You know exactly how to divide your story into chapters.
Q&A section with Erato
The knowledge I possess in the arts really isn’t for nothing hehe.
You might want to look into:
- Proof Reading
There are just a few sentences in some conversations that might need some proof reading. It’s not a huge deal but it may be a little bothering to me and many others.
Eg. “Why did I listened to this strange voice again?” should be “Why did I listen to this strange voice again?"
Honestly there isn’t much I can comment on… but with the gifts and stuff, is Athena Jesus now?! Anyway I really enjoyed it and I’ll continue reading the story.
Good luck and happy writing! xx