Continuing the discussion from Helene Reviews | Free Honest Episode Story Reviews:
Review: Teacher or Queen? by @mystique_writer
What I like:
Many conversations in Episode bore me. Looks like I found a story that I can totally engulf into the conversations.
One thing that makes the conversations so interesting is perhaps their characteristics and behavior. I can tell they are separate people, and not the same person speaking in different bodies.
You might want to look into:
Where are the drinks girl?!
In the bar where Darja and Daniel were drinking, it seems that you didn’t give them cups.
The only scene in the episode is the bar. Personally, I think it’s a bit too short.
Overall, I don’t have much feedback to give you due to the amount of content in the episode. I suggest writing more and making it a bit longer.
Good luck and happy writing! xx