Helene Reviews | Teacher or Queen? by @Mystique

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Continuing the discussion from Helene Reviews | Free Honest Episode Story Reviews:

Review: Teacher or Queen? by @mystique_writer

What I like:

  • The conversations
    Many conversations in Episode bore me. Looks like I found a story that I can totally engulf into the conversations.

  • Character personalities
    One thing that makes the conversations so interesting is perhaps their characteristics and behavior. I can tell they are separate people, and not the same person speaking in different bodies.

You might want to look into:

  • Where are the drinks girl?!
    In the bar where Darja and Daniel were drinking, it seems that you didn’t give them cups.

  • Length
    The only scene in the episode is the bar. Personally, I think it’s a bit too short.

Additional comments:

Overall, I don’t have much feedback to give you due to the amount of content in the episode. I suggest writing more and making it a bit longer.

Good luck and happy writing! xx

1 Like
2

Thank you so much :slight_smile: I am already working on the first chapter again and again and I have made it longer and I will probably continue in making it even longer.
Your feedback helps me a lot :slight_smile: