Helene Reviews | The Four Horsemen by @S_Unique


#1

Continuing the discussion from Helene Reviews | Free Honest Episode Story Reviews:

Review: The Four Horsemen by @S_Unique

What I like:

  • Amazing storyline/concept
    It grabbed my attention from the very start. Very interesting.

  • Character Customisation and Multiple Endings
    I appreciate the fact that you took the time to add the option for cc and using the point system. I always love playing stories with multiple endings.

  • Location shots
    Eg. The scene when John was laying on the grass and you gave us a shot of a field.
    I think it’s amazing that you give us a visual idea of the character’s surroundings.

You might want to look into:

  • Location shots
    Eg. In the coffee shop (or was it a restaurant)
    Although I like how you show the building before cutting into the scene that’s occurring inside the building. It kind of cut in there too quickly. I suggest a little panning, like what you did with the field), or a little zooming in. Be careful though, don’t drag it too long either.

  • Speech bubbles
    Especially in the second episode, there’s many occurrences when a character is standing and talking on the left, and the speech bubble tail is on the right side. It’s a little bothering.

Additional comments:

The cons I mentioned are not really huge issues, they’re just my opinion. Overall I did enjoy your story and I’ll continue to read it.
PS. Delilah’s job is kind of what I’m writing about in my story hahah (not published), but of course it’s a little different.

Good luck and happy writing! xx


#2

Thank you so much for your review. I’m glad yo liked it.:slight_smile::heart_eyes: I’ll definitly fix those mistakes.:slight_smile:


#3