Hello can someone or a few people do something from me?

So I need to see if anyone can read the first episode of my story and give me some feedback.
If I should end it where it is or add a little more to it to make it a little longer. (The other episodes will be longer just want to make sure the first isn’t too short.)
If the plot so far is good.
If the directing is good.
Thanks and here is the link. :slight_smile:

Anyone that checks it out I
Please note i am adding one short scene at the end and that seen is not done quite yet. :blush:

I can do it. I can give you one of my reading rewiew where I just write my opinions while reading

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The kid seems pretty cute, although since it was zoomed in and I didn’t know it was a kid at first, I felt so awkward reading his baby talk since I thought it was an adult. I’m wondering if his face could be a little more boyish… but I dont know if that’s possible with what’s available.
I personally have written a child to have the baby talk too, but I’m not sure how realistic it is for a 5 year old. I don’t have children, but I know my 3 yr old niece talks more maturely than him. I also know everyone’s language skills develop at different times, so I can’t just use my experience. Does he have hearing issues? Is that why he has the ear things?
That’s just what was in my mind for the first few scenes.

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Awww
Nvm about changing how he looks. Hes growing on me.

I say directing is good. Story seems like it is going somewhere. Some grammar issues, but not crazy.

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I cannot, sorry :sob:

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Thank you he does have ear problems and other development problems that will be talked about later in the story.
Thank you so much for the feed back I may add something to the start to let readers know. Thank you so much

That’s okay thank you

It probably isnt necessary. I was jumping to conclusions.

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Its nice to have a little mystery and then when u find out, it’s like ohhhhhh it all makes sense now.

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Thank you ill keep it how it is then unless a bunch of people say something about it

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I just started reading but if I hadn’t read this first I would have thought the kid was an adult too, I think changing the face up a bit could help but it’s almost impossible to create convincing kids in portal and readers have learned to suspend their disbelief when it comes to child characters.

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Yes we can get used to it. And seeing him little next to dad makes it better

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I think changing the face shape and eyebrows to something softer, less defined, would also help. Until Episode develops options for body types authors have to work with what’s available which is extremely limited and audiences understand that for the most part.

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Thank you but not wanting to change his face or anything. I want him to look just like his dad. But i do understand what you are saying.

What is this?

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