Help me improve my story: help needed!

So as the title say I’m looking for people that are willing to read my story (unpublished).

Basically, what I want to do is let you read my story as it is right now (episode 1&2 completely finished, 3 in the making), and I’ll need you to share your detailed feedback with me. Then, I’ll tell you what I want to change on the story, and I’ll need you to tell me your opinion.

The first and second episode are done (just some things to change here and there), but I’m really struggling with episode 3, because I feel like I am giving too much information, but I can’t possibly be as objective as I’d like, so if anyone is willing to help me I’d be grateful. I am writing a short crime story, so I need to make sure that tension is be built up quickly, but does not feel rushed.

I hope that my post is clear, if not please do not hesitate to reach out to me!

I’ll help with what you need.

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thank you!

My friend @IAmEms is doing extremely detailed reviews. Her reviews are literally pages long lol, but she not only point out what you’ve done wrong, she also helps you giving you suggestions about how you can improve or overcome a mistake. The only two problems are: 1) She’s REALLY honest, if you’re sensitive maybe it’s better if you don’t contact her 2) Because of how detailed her reviews are and her limited time, she’s kinda slow in doing them.
Here’s the post in case you’re interested:

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thank you, I’ll check her post!

Hi :wave:t4: If you’d like another opinion I recommend putting in a request at my thread

I am pretty fast and I give very thorough and detail oriented feedback! :heart:

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