Help needed - Read Draft


#1

Hey guys!

I would love it if someone read the draft for my story twinning.
I haven’t finished the episode but I’d love to know what people thought.
If your willing please comment below and I will be forever grateful to you!

Ella


Help needed - Please read my draft!
#2

I’d like to read it. What’s it about?


#3

Here’s the description:

Seventeen years ago, The Queen of Mendoline had complications while delivering twin girls. Only one girl survived. Charmagne is getting ready to be crowned as princess on her birthday and still only seven people know about her dead twin - The Queen, King, the royal advisor and four doctors in the room. When the coronation goes horribly wrong and the Queen and King are kidnapped, Charmagne is thrown into the spotlight and becomes the Queen. Matters only get more complicated when she discovers she was a twin, and events lead her to believe that her twin may still be alive, and planning to overthrow the throne.

ITS A TERRIBLE DESCRIPTION I KNOW BUT I ONLY WROTE IT JUST NOW
Final description will be much better I promise


#4

Okay, then I’d love to read the draft, Wanna see how it is so far. :eyes: :tea:


#5

Hi! I’d be happy to give it a read!


#6

Okay! Keep in mind I don’t have much done. I just want to see if its interesting/alright in the first couple of scenes


Chapter one is the only one done
I’m not sure if I did the draft so you could see it, so if you cannot see it, let me know


#7

Also my overlays aren’t working so I haven’t added in a baby swaddle


#8

Also, if it’s not too much to ask, I’m working on a holiday story to publish in December and I’m almost done with the draft of the first chapter! It’d be great if you could give me some feedback on it as well when I’ve finished it. Thanks!


#9

Of course! Glad to :slight_smile:


#10

Wow okay, I’m actually loving the plot of the story! Keep up with that. A few minor things to add that you’ll probably fix anyways would be just to make sure that you are punctuating every line of dialogue because sometimes there’s periods and sometimes there isn’t. Also, I’m not sure if my phone is just being weird but each scene would be 10x more dramatic/better if there was some music! (Again, you’ll probably add that later anyways.) But yeah! That’s pretty much it! Hope I was helpful, I’ll definitely read it when it comes out.


#11

Yup! Thanks :slight_smile: I’m trying to decide whether to add periods or not so that may just be a result of my indecision aha.
I am definitely going to add music earlier - this is just my basic plot thing
wow, thank you so much for the feedback!


#12

I’ll send my story as soon as I finish the first chapter! :slight_smile:


#13

Hi everyone

I’d love it if someone read my draft for my story called ‘the game’
It isn’t complete but I’d like to know if it’s interesting
the grammar / spelling may no be perfect as I usually edit and proofcheck once I’ve finished the chapter
If you could do that I’d be so happy!
Reply and I’ll send you the link

Ella


#14

Can check out:


#15

bumpity bump!


#16

Hi! I’ve finished the first draft of my story, could you check it out and give me some feedback? :slight_smile:


#17

Sure~


#18

#19

Wow. I loved it! The whole prospect of a whole family getting together hasn’t been done before - and there are certainly twists. I wonder why she crashed the car? I loved it and your spot directing was amazing - truly adding on to the story. Definitely will read the rest when it comes out. The Grammar was also superb :slight_smile:


#20

bump