Help needed: Writing bullying scenes (Context: I don't want to be "that white person")

[DreamerAFC]

Hello there, this topic is a serious one and I want to make sure that I do it right. I fully understand that I am writing this story from a place of privilege, and that my writing will never compare to the writing of actual African American authors when featuring this topic. I also made myself a promise that I would be willing to take the risks involved with writing characters of backgrounds that are not my own. Representation in media is a matter that is very important to me, and I want to (if I can) be part of the solution. Or at least not part of the problem.

For context, I was bullied in school (all of the schools that I’ve been to), and, in my story, the main character’s little sister is bullied by a character loosely inspired by a girl who bullied me in high school. I want this character to be 3-Dimensional and I don’t want her to be a “basic mean girl”, so, instead of having the bully (Jenna) openly walk up to the MC’s sister (Maya) and say “Ew, your outfit is ugly”, Jenna says “Aren’t you cold in that outfit? Wow, you must be warm blooded!” The trouble is, I’m realizing that every instance of fake-nice bullying that I come up with can easily be read as a micro aggression. (Including the instance just described, which was inspired by a story from my favorite YouTuber, Nicque Marina.)

For another example, my bully bullied me for having red hair- which my mom was bullied for as a kid as well. The thing is, I know that hair insults are completely different when said against a black person than against a white person, and I don’t want to:

A. Break any Episode guidelines about racism
B. Display micro-aggressions in a way that is insensitive or poorly written

I don’t know how I should go about this. Should I just make her a stereotypical bully and go out of my way to make every insult as race-neutral as possible? Or should I lean into Jenna’s micro-aggressions, and attempt to create a realistic (or semi-realistic) bully, and maybe even try to call her out for them? Or should I try and find an in-between?

I have tried Googling the topic, but I couldn’t find anything pertaining to my dilemma.

I need advice from writers, but especially from writers who are members of the Black community. I want to be as respectful as possible when portraying issues that I do not personally face. Don’t be afraid to call me out on anything in my script that is poorly written or insensitive. I’m not in the forums to be coddled, I’m here to learn.

I can provide screenshots of the scenes I have written so far, but I want to hear from you all first.

[Sydney_H]

Moved to Share Feedback since this is about story ideas. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions.

[NDNinja379]

I think the safest answer would be to go the in-between route, but honestly I would like to ask what do you want to do? I think there’s a lot of room in the discussion for different experiences when it comes to micro aggressions (pertaining to stereotypical features), but ultimately it’s up to you to decide what kind of story it is you want to tell. As far as racism violating the community guidelines……Maybe just start small (like with the hair thing) and then gradually increase as the story develops. I think it’s great that you’re passionate about representation, and I believe that your intentions will shine through. Helpful this helps!

[DreamerAFC]

I want everyone involved to be a three-dimensional character, and, if possible, I want to see if I can explore some types of bullying that often get overlooked. I imagine the bully as a character who is only 1/2 aware of what her words mean in their context due to her own ego, and I imagine that Maya (13) doesn’t know how to call Jenna (14) out without making the situation worse.

[DreamerAFC]

UPDATE: I created the backstory scene in which Jenna (the bully) and Maya (the MC’s sister) meet. I can’t tell if it made me feel sick because it is badly written, or if it made me feel sick because Jenna is being terrible.

(I created it using inspiration from stories of bullying I researched online in hopes of making it more realistic and less cartoonish)

[YourMom]

Is Maya black? The script seems fine to me

[DreamerAFC]

Yes

[NDNinja379]

I think it’s good👍🏾

[YourMom]

My personal opinion is that its fine. I actually relate as ive had comments like that in terms of my hair . Its not too over the top but subtle enough to where u understand whats going on.

[NDNinja379]

I think it’s great that you’re taking the time to do research into this; I think it’s important to realize what the goal and overall message is of your story and characters as they navigate through situations like this. I can definitely relate to several stereotypical comments that should be explored and talked about more; there are several conversations to be had about the significance of just hair in general when it comes to culture that you might want to dive into, but I know that’s not for everyone. There are a lot of people in the black community who are discriminated against simply for their hair, and no one wants to talks about it; I can go on, but I think you get the point. There’s not really much more advice I can give on this, it’s a really raw and sensitive topic, but I think if you’re this passionate about telling your story, then you should go for it, just don’t lose sight of what’s important.