Help & opinion on story description for story please

Hi guys, I recently joined the forums and have started writing a story, I’d like your opinion on my story description and if needed, help on making it better!! : D

Thanks !!!

The boy who smashed your heart into 1000 pieces. He was the one who did this to you, the one who showed you the illegal street racing, made you a rebel and left you for dead.

I like the sound of this story but the English is a little confusing.

Here what I would go for:

He, the man who shattered your heart to a thousand pieces, showed you around the world of illegal street racing… and left you on your death bed!

I’ve checked the word count and there is still a lot of space if you want to add something else!!

If you find English hard you can use the free software called Grammarly there is a payed option which will pick up more errors!!

1 Like

@Tumbi Thanks! I didn’t think of using grammarly !! English is my first language so kinda embarrassing how bad my grammar actually is :sweat_smile: :joy:

1 Like

No need to feel bad my English is my first language also and I have dyslexia so I can’t really sport my mistakes. We can’t de good at everything!!

1 Like

Hey, I’ve started working on a new story, and again wanted opinions on the description and how i could make it better!!!

Like black and white. You’re Cool and Popular - he’s not. In no world are you compatible yet theres this unexplainable spark developing between you, and nothing you can do about it

(i haven’t yet got a title for the story - anyone got something different to ’falling for the nerd’ ?)

Hmm okay okay how about

( MC name), the popular, well known, mysterious girl/boy in school suddenly falls for the complete opposite. Opposites attract… but will (MC name) be able to resist the pull… or will she/he fall deeply for the nerd… , I never really wrote attention grabbers before so it isn’t the best lol , but you were saying something about the title being falling for the nerd so I tried to include that too , hope this helped ! <3

1 Like

This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.