Help with describing a scene

I’m very bad at describing scenes and I’m not sure if this is good enough.I could need some help.
(Sorry for all spelling errors but Englisch isn’t my first language.)

NARRATOR (MC)
Suddenly Mason pushed me against my closer and looked me straight in my eyes.

@MC starts deepbreath

    NARRATOR (MC)
I felt his breath.His warm breath.

@MC starts idle_awkward_scratch_loop

    NARRATOR (MC)
It didn't seem like he would move anytime soon.
He just stood there and looked me in my eyes.
His breathing got heavier and some tension came up in this room.
Some tension came up between | outline:black | us.
Every inch of my body warmed up.
It's something I can't explain myself.
It just felt... | animation:shuffle-sideways | good?
I felt safe in his arms.
I didn't know this feeling for a long time.I didn't know how it feels to be safe in someone arms.
It wasn't like these moments when Marko hold me.It was | outline:black | different.
All I know right now is that I don't want him to leave.I don't want this feeling to leave my body.I don't want him to leave anytime soon.I want to stay in this position for a long time.
2 Likes

Looks good! All I’d change is instead of “when Marko hold me” to “when Marko held me.” Other than that it looks good though!

1 Like

It looks good to me.

1 Like

in the second sentence you should say looked in my eyes without the me.
but this pretty good

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Thank you.

Thank you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like

Alright,thank you very much. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: