Help with Published Story? (Feedback needed)

I also have a request for people to review or give feedback for a story that I’ve already published.
The story link is:
It’s called: Dirty Little Lies, and currently has 11 chapters.
I know where I want the story to go, and what my plans are for the upcoming storylines… but I feel like at present, it’s just dragging to get to the big drama that I have planned. But if I’d have put all the drama in at the beginning then it’d feel rushed. I guess it feels like I’m struggling to make it interesting before all the big stuff happens. :pensive:
Please also bare in mind that only yesterday did I finally figure out how to work the points system. Otherwise I’d have implemented that from the very first episode.
Something just doesn’t feel right when I read the first 5 episodes back, but I can’t seem to put my finger on it.
I can’t explain what it is, that I don’t like about it. So any feedback or suggestions to improve this story, would be highly appreciated. :slight_smile:


I would gladly read!

Please, if you could… it’d be so helpful and I’d be very grateful. :blush: I could really use some tips and feedback on how to improve it, as I feel like it’s so lacking.

I read the first chapter and I enjoyed it. I would personally add music to make it alive it would be a better experience so it won’t be meh. Honestly, I relate to you though I had a story called “Can do it at Once?” and I stopped writing simply because I didn’t know where I was going. But if you know where you’re going then believe in yourself. My advice to you would be write it down on a piece of paper. Or on your phone, personally I pick a title for each of my chapters to focus on the main situation. Also build your way up to the drama not straight to the drama. Hopefully I was some use!

I will continue to read and let you know anything else!

Thank you so much for the advice. I never even thought of titling the chapters. I’ll definitely do that. :slight_smile:

As for adding music and sounds (there’s still a few) but I took some out as one reader approached me via Instagram to state that a sound from (episode 7, I think) still happened in Episode 8 & 9. It must have been a glitch because I definitely turned it off. So I stopped putting more sounds/music in, and also deleted some from the first few Episodes. But I’ll definitely go back and add a bit more, hopefully it won’t glitch this time.

And about the drama, that’s what I’ve been doing… but in this story the building up to it seems to be taking forever, but I didn’t want to rush into it. Yet I want the story to be interesting. We authors can’t seem to win, can we? :weary::joy:

Alright! I’ll check it out!

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Hm, do you mind giving me a summary of the drama to me?

I enjoyed the first chapter, it captivated me. Keep writing!

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Of the drama to come?

Thank you, any mistakes?


None at all!

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I just read the first chapter of your story. It seems to be going in a very interesting direction.

My advise & opinions
You seem to have a really good storyline but with regards to you dragging out the episode, I personally like fairly long episodes so a little drag is ok In my book. I really want to feel like I’ve spent my ticket on something with size and weight.

I’m not sure what issues you’re having with sound but it was weird watching a dance scene with no music :sweat_smile: maybe you can add music to that scene for now.

Everything else is spotless keep it up :+1:


Thank you, so much. :blush: I appreciate the advise on my story and I do hope the sound glitch is gone now, so that I can re-add the music to the dance scene.

That’s very sweet, thank you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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